Had a fantastic evening last night out with Beth, Leslie and Ian. We ate at a place called the Esquire in Champaign. The Esquire is a great believer in frying. First up two servings of asian dumplings which we shared. It was at this point I nearly got myself kicked out by wondering where the knives and forks were. "There are no knives and forks, its all hands." Apparently if the bloke who served us, the owner (?) who was obviously a big fan of the Sopranos, had over heard me giving it the maximum english, "I say what sort of tractor outdoor nonsense is this?" I would have been kicked out. Great food.
We then went to the Blind Pig, where 10% beers sat on the menu as a dare. I let these beers have their day and drank something normal. The Blind Pig was heated up to sauna level and I sat trying not to fall asleep in the booth we picked. We moved to a table, a little less hot, but not much.
Then onto a coffee shop. I had a red latte, made with rooibos, my favourite tea.Began to wake up.
Came home believing I was far more awake.
Some hours later woke up sitting on the toilet with completely dead legs. I must of come in for a pee and just decided to hang out for a few hours. Took 10 minutes to get the feeling back, before attempting to stand up.
Upright, now awake,s listening to Michael Caine's selection on the desert Island discs podcast. Desert island discs is one of the true treats of being english. Now listening to Baroness Scotland's selection.
It is new years eve. 2009, feel free to fuck off.
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Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Elementary my dear Ritchie
Just went to see the new Sherlock Holmes film, which is a ton of fun and distinctly lacking in the least convincing gangsters in the history of geezerdom. Ate too much cinema death popcorn, and spent the second half of the film stuffed with butter artery blender. Back to the inlaws where we are planning on leaving to go back to Columbus early tomorrow morning. We'll see how that one goes.
Great to hear 12 days of facebook on Punky radio's between the wars Xmas special, though Paul thought Rhonda, my comedy writing partner was in fact me missus and that we were writing comedy tunes to fill up the time since the sex had dried up. I'm sure she will find this basically amusing. Eventually.
Great to hear 12 days of facebook on Punky radio's between the wars Xmas special, though Paul thought Rhonda, my comedy writing partner was in fact me missus and that we were writing comedy tunes to fill up the time since the sex had dried up. I'm sure she will find this basically amusing. Eventually.
In the bleak Midwester
I sit in doors, not shivering, but with an awareness of cold I cannot shake. i imagine those who live in very hot climes feel the same way about the heat. I also imagine they shrug their shoulders, whack on their swimmies and piss off to the beach for a swim, and mojitos at Carlos' beach bar emporium. Bastards.
Their is a stoicism in the midwest as regards the punishment of winter. a sense that you have to pay this price for the beautiful summer days and the beauty of the snow laden landscape. It is absolutely gorgeous looking, like living in the most perfect christmas card you can imagine. Apart from the cars in the ditch, the hypothermia and the random death. " You got to pay for perfection", the attitude. "See you at the beach knobhouse", my response.
Their is a stoicism in the midwest as regards the punishment of winter. a sense that you have to pay this price for the beautiful summer days and the beauty of the snow laden landscape. It is absolutely gorgeous looking, like living in the most perfect christmas card you can imagine. Apart from the cars in the ditch, the hypothermia and the random death. " You got to pay for perfection", the attitude. "See you at the beach knobhouse", my response.
Monday, December 28, 2009
The maximum English.
Its so cold. The ground is covered in snow which is heading towards ice as fast as it can. My snow boots are fantastic and can operate in really low temperatures. They are in Columbus. The shoes I have here are good if you are walking on a beach pretending to be an italian boatmen.
Myself, the shoes of summer gone, Beth and her folks went over to John and Kate's in accordance with the midwest weather is no object clause. One of the things about travel in the midwest winter is that you always have a good time when you arrive, as you are all happy to be alive. We only saw 5 cars in the ditch on our way there (really) so the day had gone quite well for a bad winter squall. The most amazing thing i've ever seen was when Beth and I drove up to chicago some winters ago on a road solid with black ice. We drove at 10 mph and saw 60 cars off the road, 5 of which were on their roof. We were the only car left rolling in the silent winterlight. It was like being in a post-appocalyptic ghost story.
Why the maximum english? We went out to a restaurant that did chips and curry sauce. If the table had been better hidden, i'd of sat and licked the plate.
Myself, the shoes of summer gone, Beth and her folks went over to John and Kate's in accordance with the midwest weather is no object clause. One of the things about travel in the midwest winter is that you always have a good time when you arrive, as you are all happy to be alive. We only saw 5 cars in the ditch on our way there (really) so the day had gone quite well for a bad winter squall. The most amazing thing i've ever seen was when Beth and I drove up to chicago some winters ago on a road solid with black ice. We drove at 10 mph and saw 60 cars off the road, 5 of which were on their roof. We were the only car left rolling in the silent winterlight. It was like being in a post-appocalyptic ghost story.
Why the maximum english? We went out to a restaurant that did chips and curry sauce. If the table had been better hidden, i'd of sat and licked the plate.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Merry Xmarse
Current mood:relieved
Category: Life
I love cheese, the more esoteric and strong the better. I love shrimp. I love water chestnuts wrapped in bacon. I love the prime rib that my brother in law John makes. If you inhale all of my favourites over and over on Xmas eve, you will end up believing you live in a bathroom. You will then not eat Xmas day until 7 pm. Ah, tis the season for your arse to be jelly.
Category: Life
I love cheese, the more esoteric and strong the better. I love shrimp. I love water chestnuts wrapped in bacon. I love the prime rib that my brother in law John makes. If you inhale all of my favourites over and over on Xmas eve, you will end up believing you live in a bathroom. You will then not eat Xmas day until 7 pm. Ah, tis the season for your arse to be jelly.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Pride in the fall.
Today I was weaker than I anticipated. I was in my bathroom, turned, and found myself in midair. Fortunately I've sent the last few years doing MS yoga, where they teach you how to fall. Got to the floor as quick as possible, arse first. If you put your hands out you will probably break your wrists. So bruised arse day, but still able to type. Beth is just walking in with vietnamese food, so the day is improving as it goes
Monday, December 21, 2009
A waste of perfectly good sperm
Healthcare restorm
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life
If you are a republican and a thinker, not necessarily mutually exclusive, you must be watching the pathetic bollock sucking horse shit your people are engaged in with horror and despair. Wheel a 92 year old into the senate twice at 1 am, to force him to vote, while some cunt calls for prayers so he wont make it? Stop vital funding being voted on for your troops? How stupid and inhuman can one set of offal filled cum buckets be? Plenty.
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life
If you are a republican and a thinker, not necessarily mutually exclusive, you must be watching the pathetic bollock sucking horse shit your people are engaged in with horror and despair. Wheel a 92 year old into the senate twice at 1 am, to force him to vote, while some cunt calls for prayers so he wont make it? Stop vital funding being voted on for your troops? How stupid and inhuman can one set of offal filled cum buckets be? Plenty.
Humbugs for all!!!
 | Current mood:Xmas ahhh I'm up. Keep getting up at 6 am or so. Some of his is down to Abbey, who needs her breakfast and to play outside in the freezing cold. some of it is because, unbelievably, I feel very Xmassy. I've hated Xmas the past few years, but all of a sudden I find myself wandering around humming carols and ginning like a twat. Last night Beth and I went to see the Nutcracker, courtesy of our friend Yo, whose husband Gerard is the head of Ballet Met in Columbus. Usually the thought of being surrounded by screeching kids and their battle worn parents makes my teeth itch. Not last night. I smiled like a fool all the way through. My yoga teacher Jen's daughter was in it. I have news for you Jen. if you are that young and standing in front of a cheering crowd of 2000, you are hooked for life. If you are in town its well worth a look. |
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday
Up early. Why? I think I'm feeling xmasy. This began when watching a Gordon Ramsay marathon, and realising that he just wants to help.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Amazon Freak Mining
This one for the combo people pick.
//www.amazon.com/California-Delicious-Ghirardelli-Sampler-Basket/dp/B002TV3O6U/ref=xs_gb_bd_BsB!49KAall-?pf_rd_p=441937801&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_t=701&pf_rd_i=20&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0B25Z55F7FNYMYT5CG54
//www.amazon.com/California-Delicious-Ghirardelli-Sampler-Basket/dp/B002TV3O6U/ref=xs_gb_bd_BsB!49KAall-?pf_rd_p=441937801&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_t=701&pf_rd_i=20&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0B25Z55F7FNYMYT5CG54
Clean the bathroom!
Current mood:getonwithit
We are having a brunch today. I know i have to polish up the bathroom right nice. Its 2:43a m so I know I have to do it now. I blame the films Hatchet and The terminator for delaying my work. That, and watching the snow and playing with my dog and hating cleaning the bathroom. i always over bleach and end up in a head fog thinking I'm at the swimming pool, wondering where my veruca sock is.
You don't see veruca socks nowadays. Did we cure verucas when I wasn't looking? Veruca, what a great word. Icky, gross and somehow less agressive than foot wart. Veruca isn't in my dictionary. Either it is gone, or Americans do call it foot wart, or skin foot degrade or some such shit.
Clean the bathroom!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Wakey wakey.
Current mood:wakey-sleepy Category: Life Awake. Last night had really good chicken livers ( Beth ) drank some top splosh (also made by Beth ). I am living with a crafting genius. Now I just need her to knit me a career. Considering how today should go. I know this evening I am going to watch a very Xmasy play about Heroin addiction. Better than accidentally catching Elf, polluting the Xmas airwaves with its grinny happy happy shite. Advert on the telly with some bloke shouting about something. I hate shouty adverts. That bloke has to sit and live with fact that he did that. Unless he's a bit deaf, in which case SORRY! Deaf jokes, must be early |
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Right then.
I'm beginning this blog with no idea what I'm going to write about. I usually have a vague idea. Today, I've been wiped out, so nothing is coming.
We are at the end of empire consuming ourselves up our own arse, filling it with shit we don't need. This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but constipation.
Xmas adverts are shit. Buy this for your child or they will be tormented by the more fortunate/ nasty children who will call them Xmas gyppo forever.
Buy your wife a present from our shithouse blood diamond murder warehouse, or accept that you don't love her enough, and all those kids in africa died or were mutilated in vain.
Buy our shit food, that is so processed its not actually animal any more.
Get our toilet roll that doesn't work and will give way under the despair of your Xmas shit.
Go to church if you like, and pretend to care about your fellow man.
Wow. Narky.
We are at the end of empire consuming ourselves up our own arse, filling it with shit we don't need. This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but constipation.
Xmas adverts are shit. Buy this for your child or they will be tormented by the more fortunate/ nasty children who will call them Xmas gyppo forever.
Buy your wife a present from our shithouse blood diamond murder warehouse, or accept that you don't love her enough, and all those kids in africa died or were mutilated in vain.
Buy our shit food, that is so processed its not actually animal any more.
Get our toilet roll that doesn't work and will give way under the despair of your Xmas shit.
Go to church if you like, and pretend to care about your fellow man.
Wow. Narky.
Correct to protect
Just saw an advert on telly for correct to protect, a company that sells dogs that are trained to attack on command. Security for your family, or just a cute killer pooch. I'm not kidding. They are selling dogs trained to kill as a nice family pet. Can anyone see this going wrong? Little Tommy goes missing, Rage your new security dog is waddling around, suddenly fat, woofs and Tommy's retainer falls out. I think the only reason that this homicide on 4 legs business exists is because someone rhymed correct and protect. Its Xmas, buy a correct to protect doggie for your local health insurance provider. Train it to attack on the phrase " Denied. Pre-existing condition."
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Mary, mary
Rhonda and I put up the 12 days of facebook today. Great to get back to working on a comedy tune again. What fascinates me is how long it takes. You get the idea, go at it for a few hours, realise the first idea was OK, then start correcting it. This takes a few more hours. Then you start figuring out how to sing it, making sure in the case of satirising a known song, in this case the 12 days of Xmas that your meter is spot on. More hours figuring that out. Then you sing it through for a couple of hours getting used to what you have come up with. then you leave it for a couple of days while you independently get used to the words. Then you change them again as you see better scans. Finally you attempt to get it down without slurring or breaking up laughing while you are doing it, another couple of hours. T Chuck it up and hope for the best. Then, something shit happens on the news and you start working it all out again. I recommend multiple bloody marys. |
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday Morning
4:13 am. Awake. This is what happens when you get up at 7 am on Sunday, start hoovering down bloody marys and writing comic songs with your best comic mate. We spent hours getting the track together, 7 to be precise. It takes all that time to have the idea and then chip away at every word, every phrase, shaping it over and over until its something you can both live with. Rhonda and I are the same, in that neither of us believes a joke is ever truely finished. It only gets to the best way you can tell it for now. Thats the joy / curse of being obsessed with words. I can spend hours going over a sentence polishing it until I'm happy with it. Even then I can realise I was wrong about it an hour after that. You would think this is the most annoying affliction in the world, its the greatest gift I ever got.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Day getting weirder
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life
Having come home from Dirty Franks (hot dog place, excellent) at 2am Sunday morning, I then got up to start writing with my mate Rhonda at 7am. She was coming from her night job, so it was the end of her day. With this in mind, we went into our writing day slugging down Bloody Marys. This works really well for hours, until reality tramps its muddy boots of physicality across the vibe intoning "You can't force the fun." Fortunately before it waded in we wrote and recorded a track that will go up in the week
Beth and I went out to get a chinese. As we drove there we went past a fire engine and a police car which were surrounding the scene of a crash with a body laid out on the pavement. This is actually the second time I have seen a scene like this, the first time was when I got a lift off of John Hegley going through NE london about 20 years ago. He was teaching at Jacksons Lane. Turned out he went the school opposite the one I went to in Luton.
So, I am getting old. 20 years!!! I also hope I was wrong this evening and the guy on the pavement was knocked out not dead.
Category: Life
Having come home from Dirty Franks (hot dog place, excellent) at 2am Sunday morning, I then got up to start writing with my mate Rhonda at 7am. She was coming from her night job, so it was the end of her day. With this in mind, we went into our writing day slugging down Bloody Marys. This works really well for hours, until reality tramps its muddy boots of physicality across the vibe intoning "You can't force the fun." Fortunately before it waded in we wrote and recorded a track that will go up in the week
Beth and I went out to get a chinese. As we drove there we went past a fire engine and a police car which were surrounding the scene of a crash with a body laid out on the pavement. This is actually the second time I have seen a scene like this, the first time was when I got a lift off of John Hegley going through NE london about 20 years ago. He was teaching at Jacksons Lane. Turned out he went the school opposite the one I went to in Luton.
So, I am getting old. 20 years!!! I also hope I was wrong this evening and the guy on the pavement was knocked out not dead.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Xmas Wisdom
Current mood:Shopzombied
Category: Life
When wandering around Target, silently projecting revulsion at the shopping zombies stumbling around you, remember, you are one of them. Seek the internet and buy your goods securely parked on your couch. Also, Target; 30$ for a new DVD? One word, Amazon.
Category: Life
When wandering around Target, silently projecting revulsion at the shopping zombies stumbling around you, remember, you are one of them. Seek the internet and buy your goods securely parked on your couch. Also, Target; 30$ for a new DVD? One word, Amazon.
Frostbite merrily on thigh
Current mood: angsty
It is 19 F here at the moment. Thats the kind of cold that makes you stand shaking your head in disbelief. "it can't possibly be that fucking cold," you mutter, whilst willing your dog to stop enjoying the garden and come in.
Quite antsy this morning, as I decided to try and get my studio going whilst still barely conscious, willing it to work. I hate doing the tech to get ideas down. I need a personal studio tech living in my basement. There is a real artistry to capturing sound which I don't have. That or any patience whatsoever. Rationally I know how long it takes to get a track down, Unfortunately this is drowned out by my repeated use of the phrase, "For fuck's sake you cunt!" as I stomp around the room.
Did I mention its fucking freezing? All doubters are ignorant cunts who should be thrown in a volcano. Told you there was global warming.
Happy saturday.
It is 19 F here at the moment. Thats the kind of cold that makes you stand shaking your head in disbelief. "it can't possibly be that fucking cold," you mutter, whilst willing your dog to stop enjoying the garden and come in.
Quite antsy this morning, as I decided to try and get my studio going whilst still barely conscious, willing it to work. I hate doing the tech to get ideas down. I need a personal studio tech living in my basement. There is a real artistry to capturing sound which I don't have. That or any patience whatsoever. Rationally I know how long it takes to get a track down, Unfortunately this is drowned out by my repeated use of the phrase, "For fuck's sake you cunt!" as I stomp around the room.
Did I mention its fucking freezing? All doubters are ignorant cunts who should be thrown in a volcano. Told you there was global warming.
Happy saturday.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tasi
Current mood:o so full.
Category: Life
There is a restaurant found aound the back of High street in the short north called Tasi. It sits there all out of the way and has fantastic food. It is possible to eat too much, although it is a well earned culinary stomach grumble. Beth and I are now home looking to nap off the excess.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Um?
Just woke up on my couch. MS is not the reason that I can't remember how I got there. Taste testing whisky at 1pm followed by beer tasting at 4pm (8.9 %) followed by long island ice tea and dinner at 6pm is. I know it was ok and nothing awful occured, I just checked with Beth. It is amazing when you cannot remember. I know I got home. I know I took my glasses off and put them on a table. I know I still feel drunk. I know I have a hangover in my future. That is as much as I know.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Total relaxation
If you ever see an advert for a yoga restorative, book it immediately. Beth and I spent three hours last night moving from one total relaxation pose to another. There is a moment when you can actually feel all tension leave, and you melt. Its the most legal high you can have. I highly recommend it.
Got home ate crap food (thanks Wendys) and fell into a fantastic sleep. Now awake with the tension I ditched last night niggling in the back of my mind. Turn the tv on to the news, mistake. Political cunts aplenty spraying their ill informed heartless horseshit, polluting my chilled aspect. american politicians aren't even the posh witless cunts of home, something that is easy to hate. The thing they have in common is the total corruption that corrodes them as they go, until, wrapped in compromise and lies, any soul they had when they started is snuffed out completely, leaving a slogan screeching shit bucket, taking up decent tree oxygen.
Maybe i should have eaten healthier when I got in.
Got home ate crap food (thanks Wendys) and fell into a fantastic sleep. Now awake with the tension I ditched last night niggling in the back of my mind. Turn the tv on to the news, mistake. Political cunts aplenty spraying their ill informed heartless horseshit, polluting my chilled aspect. american politicians aren't even the posh witless cunts of home, something that is easy to hate. The thing they have in common is the total corruption that corrodes them as they go, until, wrapped in compromise and lies, any soul they had when they started is snuffed out completely, leaving a slogan screeching shit bucket, taking up decent tree oxygen.
Maybe i should have eaten healthier when I got in.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The piss head and the pea.
Woke up this morning with a bad back. Felt like a good first line for a blues, is however a terrible start for any blues song, unless sung by a geriatric bluesman to opening his piss in the pants tour of old folks homes. The telly was on, spouting something confusing. Took five minutes to realise that I had turned the TV onto a spanish language channel in my sleep. Dream osmosis ineffective, my spanish is still dire.
I slept on the remote, the pissheads version of the princess and the pea tale. Maybe thats how one pisshead finds another, keep asking them to sleep over on the coach, whilst cunningly sliding the remote under the cushions. Three back grumbling days later you have found the love of your life, and somone wo can say "good morning!!!!" in spanish.
I have woken up before unaware of where I was, looking around, searching for clues to my location. This usually happens when I have been travelling, and have fallen hard asleep. The moments of where am I and why are actually somewhat of a treat.
Been out for breakfast at the Skillet around thecorner. So sleepy i forgot Betns order, which she had told me seconds before, then stepped back and accientally elbowed the woman behind me in the tit. What is the etiquette for that? anyway, boob smashing aside great breakfast, though Apple and farmer cheese pancakes do give you countryside farts. Countryside in that it would be better to be in plenty of open air when you do one.
Then shopping, where the countryside fart was retained in the checkout queue. Learned that the reason the conveyor belt stops is that your food or the plastic thing between you and the customer behind you breaks the laser beam shining across the belt. thanks bloke behind me, breakfast and Buck Rogers, result. sorry the only thing I gave you was the air of the countryside as I left
Friday, December 4, 2009
Fridaze
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life
Ill, in the sense that the day has rolled on like a small shitball gathering moss and more shit as it heads down the hill towards saturday. It has achieved a certain weight, and my internet acting up, as it always does when it gets a bit colder, has apple currently being san franciscan for shit, is improving my mood not a jot.
Design hardier products you effete twats, and try not to piss me off too much.
Would get help from the american health service, but they are all money grubbing cunts, flapping their dollar grabbing arms like fuck birds of bank, trying to stay above the fire riven hell that awaits them in the next world.
Aah, much better.
Category: Life
Ill, in the sense that the day has rolled on like a small shitball gathering moss and more shit as it heads down the hill towards saturday. It has achieved a certain weight, and my internet acting up, as it always does when it gets a bit colder, has apple currently being san franciscan for shit, is improving my mood not a jot.
Design hardier products you effete twats, and try not to piss me off too much.
Would get help from the american health service, but they are all money grubbing cunts, flapping their dollar grabbing arms like fuck birds of bank, trying to stay above the fire riven hell that awaits them in the next world.
Aah, much better.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Replay until dead.
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life
Just watched the Wrestler, a great film with Mickey Rourke as a broken down wrestler competing against his failing body for one more shot in front of the crowd. Then turned on the Rock and Roll hall of fame's 25th anniversary concert, populated with ageing rockers, competing against failing voices and bodies, for one more shot at the crowd. Lou Reed singing with Metallica was particularly poignant, as a befuddled Lou watched Sweet Jane being dismantled before his ravaged ex-junkie eyes. Then Ray Davies was trotted out, to sing you really got me, or teach geography, it was difficult to tell. Beautiful, in a fighting against the dying of the light kind of way.
Set against the dying of the light I'm now watching Kingdom of the Spiders, a 1977 classic bit of scifi tack, with a very youthful william Shatner, as a scientist trying survive a killer spider attack.
"Are you crazy lady? This is our home, no damn spiders are gonna run us out."
The crappy seventies scifi film verbal version of anyone being beamed down from the enterprise wearing red. Doomed.
The dying of the day
The midwest is preparing the wind down into the long winter. It is getting colder, and having lived here for seven years its descending into the winter, which will last until April. There will be nice days, there will be enjoyable days. In the main, it will be cold, icy and rubbish. I never grew up with such a hit of consistently shit weather. Rain, sure, but not such a long run of dangerous rubbish with a side-order of what the fuck. All my friends who grew up here deal with the weather change a lot better than I do. I enjoy a nice coating of snow, who doesn't? I just can't stand it hanging around for weeks, the last person at the party, who you didn't invite, were pleasantly surprised at how alright they were, then stayed drinking themselves into incoherence after everyone else had gone home.
I admire the stoicism of those who deal with it all with a shrug. They who do not cry too hard when the gas bills come in. Lets face it, everyone wells a little when they realise gas is apparently made of gold.
I admire the stoicism of those who deal with it all with a shrug. They who do not cry too hard when the gas bills come in. Lets face it, everyone wells a little when they realise gas is apparently made of gold.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The Ring cycle
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life
Yesterday went out to dinner for Ian's birthday dollar sushi night at Kofusion in Champaign. I know dollar sushi invites an arse gasping and trying to go down for water, whilst its owner groans above, begging for death. Actually it was really good and my stomach / arse remained unperturbed. Drank too much, shuffled home and realised I must have lost my rings in the house before I left. I say realised, it was more that I was irrationally certain I must have left them in the house somewhere.
When I lose things, which is often I have discovered that rushing around with my head cut off bleating and whining ( which I have done a lot in the past) does me no good at all. The only thing that works is to say "don't worry it'll turn up" and wait for the zen click which tells me where the objects are.
This did not stop Beth and her parents turning their house upside down looking for my wedding rings.
I actually have 2 rings, one which is the wedding ring and a silver gold engagement ring I got because I'd never been engaged before; never gonna do it again; better get a bonus ring then.
The house continued to be searched while I tried to clear my head, tricky, as the guilt of the dormant ring loser kept flitting across my mind. I couldn't run the house it would have muddied my parting cloud. No rings, bed.
Woke up and the clouds parted. The rings were in the car. Why? It was cold last night and my fingers had shrunk and the rings fell in the seat. Why didn't you notice? As I intimated, I was far too sushied and pissed.
So thanks to Jan and Carl and Beth for humouring the sedentary thinker, who needed his hangover to clear up, just enough to remember what should have been obvious in the first place.
As a postcript. I just found the peanut crackle from dollar general, which I dismissed as cack two days ago, in my kitchen. It has graduated from being cack to being sweets I just found in my kitchen. Mmm.
Category: Life
Yesterday went out to dinner for Ian's birthday dollar sushi night at Kofusion in Champaign. I know dollar sushi invites an arse gasping and trying to go down for water, whilst its owner groans above, begging for death. Actually it was really good and my stomach / arse remained unperturbed. Drank too much, shuffled home and realised I must have lost my rings in the house before I left. I say realised, it was more that I was irrationally certain I must have left them in the house somewhere.
When I lose things, which is often I have discovered that rushing around with my head cut off bleating and whining ( which I have done a lot in the past) does me no good at all. The only thing that works is to say "don't worry it'll turn up" and wait for the zen click which tells me where the objects are.
This did not stop Beth and her parents turning their house upside down looking for my wedding rings.
I actually have 2 rings, one which is the wedding ring and a silver gold engagement ring I got because I'd never been engaged before; never gonna do it again; better get a bonus ring then.
The house continued to be searched while I tried to clear my head, tricky, as the guilt of the dormant ring loser kept flitting across my mind. I couldn't run the house it would have muddied my parting cloud. No rings, bed.
Woke up and the clouds parted. The rings were in the car. Why? It was cold last night and my fingers had shrunk and the rings fell in the seat. Why didn't you notice? As I intimated, I was far too sushied and pissed.
So thanks to Jan and Carl and Beth for humouring the sedentary thinker, who needed his hangover to clear up, just enough to remember what should have been obvious in the first place.
As a postcript. I just found the peanut crackle from dollar general, which I dismissed as cack two days ago, in my kitchen. It has graduated from being cack to being sweets I just found in my kitchen. Mmm.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Rambling Roids...
Roids Day 2
Current mood:Not sure actually
Category: Life
Back when I talked to the fiscal death torturers ( a neurologist and the people running the MRI) , I got a roids prescription. Not intravenous, which is the best drug ever. I was in hospital years ago, couldn't feel my legs, arms, brain. They jacked in some intravenous steroids and within an hour I was dancing (badly) , laughing, grinning ( which lasted 5 days), and generally quite a happy chap. I don't recommend the come down, which lasts a month and makes you feel like a living bottle of alka-seltzer, but previous to that, happy days.
Now on my second 2 day shot of roid pills. They are nowhere near as much fun, just make you feel a bit odd. Having done the first course i realize the come down is nowhere near as bad, though the journey is nowhere near as interesting. I mean this time out I have no chance of ending up on the Back to the Future ride in LA with an open IV on my arm. Again don't recommend it, though it will be one of the trippiest things you ever do.
MS does make life shitty, but it is exceptionally trippy. I have seen and felt things that make no sense unless you are in a happy horror film. If you every get the chance sit around a group of people with MS telling the truth. You will never hear it otherwise as the other 99% of the time we lie. We lie because we have all made the mistake at some point of answering the question " What's its really like?" brutally honestly, then watched the fall of the face that asked it. I love the MS yoga class I do because I am surrounded by people who cannot be shocked and some times come up with crazy shit I had never even thought about. It feels like someone putting a needle in your eye? For a month? Wow. Turns out buggered right leg probably not so bad.
This post is a mildly meandering load of old toss., I think steroids in pill form have their own dislocation effect. Ooh.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
the Power of Shazam
Current mood: geeky
We no longer hve to remember anything a tall. Those old reader's Digest How to books, Encyclopedia Brittanica, shops, all vapourised by the net. Now the joy of trying to remember a song is gone. An app on the Iphone Shazam means any tune that is playing can be sorted by pointing the phone at it. It downloads the name of the track and band, links to lyrics, youtube, anything you like. Fun but disposable. Everything is quick and disposable.
Except joining Facebook where your ghost lives on forever being recruited into Yo-ville gangbangs and pirate, vampire, mobster, knight assault teams.
2012. Couple more years of pretend living, then onto cyber purgatory. If there is God, He/She is a gamer.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
WiiFIt Plus Do or die
Having been very ill and quite sedentary this year, I decided a wiifit plus would be a good present for the house, as I can do it safely without worrying about gym a nazis tuttiing. Its actually good fun and very necessary, it'll be fun to stop the voice going "Oh" when I get on the balance board.
I can recommend it as a good way for the haters of the gym, or those cripped out by MS looking to find a nice safe way of getting fitter. Now all I have to do is stick at it.
I can recommend it as a good way for the haters of the gym, or those cripped out by MS looking to find a nice safe way of getting fitter. Now all I have to do is stick at it.
The Universe watches
We fired stuff at the moon last week. Not to the moon, at the moon, with the hope of a six mile high plume trying to find water. The people that fired it were confused that the plume did not not rise. The moon was not surprised. He/she had spent centuries watching the blood sacks throwing rocks in the air, upset and confused when they came down.
Then gravity was discovered, some still threw rocks. When will they learn thought the moon. The answer seems to be never.
Like a child with a broken toy, we figure out new ways to polish the same old broken rubbish, until it shines a bit, and we can play for a while.
We sent the head of cirque de soleil and his clown show into space, and blasted the moon looking for water. I wonder why first contact has never been made?
11:28 AM 0 Comments(Add Comment) |0
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Out and about
Current mood: tired
Today, Beth and I went south out of columbus. Just drove looking for farmers markets. Found somewhere which proclaimed itself Amish, turned out to be ropey old tat. Kept going ended up in a town called Mount Sterling. I think it was a town and I think it exists, sort of place you approach out of a fog.
Drove past a place which announced it was open and not much else. We figured i"Probably does lunch" and went in. It was a really cool place, the food was great and the open brick walls gave a clue as to its name, the Brickhouse. Back on the road, ended up in a slightly worrying pumpkin selling place. Bloke was nice, but a bit twitchy in that wear your head as a hat kind of way. Got pumpkins to make pies with, left wearing our own skin. Result all round.
Then went to the North market in Columbus where I unwisely tried popcorn which advertised itself as ultra hot. It was not kidding. To cool my lavad throat down tried and then bought Thai ice cream from Jeni's. It is fantastic, and I swear the after taste is as if you have just had some Pad Thai. One of the great things about living here is the amazing foods that are knocking about. And the pumpkins. And the skin walker.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
sunday sunday
Bullshit Averse
Current mood: angry
Today, I am allergic to listening to political horseshittery. My allergy causes me to physically flinch from whatever box of noise and lights it vomits from. I think its because I see a bunch of toss fucks who try to convince you they cry Jesus tears, and argue that health is based on money. I hate these cunts. I really hate them. They bleed joy from the world with every crocodilian, bought tear they spill. Of course I'm not the only one watching this money motivated cluster fuck. Good luck explaining this unchristian move to your god, on the off chance he or she is interested in meeting any twat stupid enough to ignore their boys basic message
Saturday, October 3, 2009
No means no
Ireland is currently revoting on the Lisbon treaty as the no vote didn't go down that well the first time. Columbus is being asked to revote on having Casino's again, despite the fact the consistent no vote indicates we have all seen Back to the Future 2 and want nothing to do with it. If either of these votes got through I very much doubt we could go back and have another vote as people came to their senses. You can only lose your common sense virginity once, then you have to live in the fetid sweaty mess of what you should have kept out.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Party of screech.
I don't mind people having parties. Across the road from where I live, people moved in who have plenty of parties. You know when the party is on because drunk girls start screeching. Its not yelling, its a lot more annoying than that. Its the sort of noise you wander past at a lick outside of a pub. They don't even have the decency to be throwing up. The blokes are suspiciously quiet, possibly in shock at the harpys they have created.
By all means drink. By all means drink a lot. Then,throw up, fall asleep and shut the fuck up. Thank you.
By all means drink. By all means drink a lot. Then,throw up, fall asleep and shut the fuck up. Thank you.
Chicago down
First round,first vote, Chicago out. Tokyo out. Now down to Rio or Madrid. My bet is Madrid, Beth's is Rio. English radio (radio 5) reported on the stunned disbelief in Daley plaza, which swiftly turned to a discussion of how corrupt and violent Chicago is, and how it was probably best that the Olympics didn't go there. Then reported how life sentences were handed down today to two people who kicked a father to death in Staffordshire. Just as well Staffs didn't make a bid then.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Coma
Current mood:dusty
It is 4 40pm. My day has been. How best to explain? Imagine the biggest drinking bender you've ever been on, how the next day evaporates and you find yourself dropping in and out of unconsciousness. Take away the head ache, the vomiting and the trots, depending on how far you over guinessed and that is how a change in the weather kicks my MS into a major Rip van Winkel.
Of course, its nice not to be hungover.
First Frost
Current mood:awakey maybe....
Category: Life
Yesterday was cold. Really bloody cold. Beth and I went to Athens, to a Farmers Market. One hour and a half, long days journey into carrot. Actually the market was really good and full of earnest students asking the stall holders stuff like "Do you always sell the same thing?" "Nah one week I bring apples from my orchard, next week washing machines."
Ate at a local produce cafe which was excellent, then bought fried chicken livers from a chicken shop where I saw a Wayne Gacy look-a-like order "A pound of livers and a pound of chicken hearts." Probably stopped him stalking the student body for the night, bless.
First frost this morning, knocked my MS into a coma. Pretty now though.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
THe joy of medicine
| I was in a machine. It measured and told me just how fucked I was. This was some time ago. Just got a letter from them to reassure me that I am indeed still fucked, this time from the wallet down. |
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Power of the Brunch
Current mood: content
Category: Friends
Saturday was a fantastic day. Had great people over for brunch which ran from 11am to 11pm. Very balanced. Load up on cava and orange juice and mimosa your way onwards. Eat Beth's unbelievably fantastic food, paired with Clints lip smacking biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and gravy are one of my favourite discoveries having moved to the Midwest, and Clint's were excellent. Chow down on more of Chef Miglin's creations during the day. Change up the alcohol, change back as the day goes on, chill out and enjoy a perfect Saturday. As I say great people, unbelievable food, and a never ending flood of booze. I highly recommend it.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Almost awake
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
This early morning I actually feel nearly awake. This is odd as I haven't felt awake for about 2 years. Because I am up early you would think that I would put something easy going on the telly. I am in fact watching Supermax, a documentary about super bad prisoners. I say documentary its actually a marathon which is currently running its full series, like OZ but for real. Happy go lucky it is not but it does wake you up a bit. Funny I never really see happy go lucky programmes in a marathon. Its always whatever flavour of Law and Order or NCIS floats your boat. Personally I could sit and watch old Magic Roundabouts for hours (that would be a lot of them probably chuck in Dougal and The Blue Cat) with a side order of the Singing Ringing tree. That would be a nice trippy start to the day. Chorlton and the Whelies, just to hear him say "Hello little old lady.' That would be nice, with some willo the wisp on the side.
I may have got my awake statement wrong, this reads like a sleepy load of old toss. I am right though.
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
This early morning I actually feel nearly awake. This is odd as I haven't felt awake for about 2 years. Because I am up early you would think that I would put something easy going on the telly. I am in fact watching Supermax, a documentary about super bad prisoners. I say documentary its actually a marathon which is currently running its full series, like OZ but for real. Happy go lucky it is not but it does wake you up a bit. Funny I never really see happy go lucky programmes in a marathon. Its always whatever flavour of Law and Order or NCIS floats your boat. Personally I could sit and watch old Magic Roundabouts for hours (that would be a lot of them probably chuck in Dougal and The Blue Cat) with a side order of the Singing Ringing tree. That would be a nice trippy start to the day. Chorlton and the Whelies, just to hear him say "Hello little old lady.' That would be nice, with some willo the wisp on the side.
I may have got my awake statement wrong, this reads like a sleepy load of old toss. I am right though.
Friday, September 4, 2009
creepy radio
Doomed on Soma FM is quite creepy. The tune I've got on Mynoh Lasyh - Katy ist Tot which is a blend of industrial noise, the theme from the OMEN and different voices, mainly german coming in trying to be as creepy as they possibly can. People listen to this to relax of an evening. Having said that my mum did find me asleep on my bedroom fllor whilst Napalm Death's Mind snare echoed around my room. I did find that most relaxing. New tune which now employs strings hit with hammers and a very gloomy EM, now traded over to what sounds like and airport with a bored drummer and voices of the ticketless, probably German.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Craigs List misdial
Current mood: amused
Category: Life
When someone phones me by accident about an item I haven’t placed on Craigs List, the first thing which crosses my mind is to wonder whether they are phoning about the adult section. Am I talking to someone now trying to cover his tracks as they realise the hot sex they were expecting is a confused englishmen who has no idea what they are on about. Once we’ve assertained that I am not Trixie, there is a long pause, then a mumbled, “ Sorry.” Does the Craigs List sex adventurer think he has a wrong number, or that he has phoned Trixies house and got her boyfriend /husband by accident? If I’d thought about it quicker I would have given a rundown on Trixie....
Category: Life
When someone phones me by accident about an item I haven’t placed on Craigs List, the first thing which crosses my mind is to wonder whether they are phoning about the adult section. Am I talking to someone now trying to cover his tracks as they realise the hot sex they were expecting is a confused englishmen who has no idea what they are on about. Once we’ve assertained that I am not Trixie, there is a long pause, then a mumbled, “ Sorry.” Does the Craigs List sex adventurer think he has a wrong number, or that he has phoned Trixies house and got her boyfriend /husband by accident? If I’d thought about it quicker I would have given a rundown on Trixie....
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
| Prison food is better than NHS hospital food. Really? Maybe. Obama wants to lead America to a communist/ socialist nightmare. Really? No, of course not. All bankers/ insurers are lying cunts who would sell their dying grandmothers blood to the vampire troupe at the circus for ringside seats.. Really. Truth is, a big fat lie can be talked into a coma. Pulverised over the 24hr news cycle to brain dribbles that don't really make much sense at all, with no regard for the damage caused to those talked about. A neverending game of chinese whispers |
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Events and stuff
The ribfest was excellent, as always. Th art museum we went with John was great and the
ohio State fair was remarkably rivetting. I never in my life thought I would watch a hottest sheep contest for an hour, but I did. There was a lot of explanation going on, in a language I didn't understand. I bet on the sheep that came second.
ohio State fair was remarkably rivetting. I never in my life thought I would watch a hottest sheep contest for an hour, but I did. There was a lot of explanation going on, in a language I didn't understand. I bet on the sheep that came second.
Friday, July 24, 2009
For the third time, I'm 38!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: content
Category: Life
This is the third time I've tried to post this blog. I don't know if the last 2 failures are an age thing? Could be. Of corse it could be that its 4am, and I'm relaxing after an evening of unhealthy yet ravishing food and drink provided by Beth's brother John who flew in to celebrate our birthdays with us. Beth and I have the same birthday, she of course is younger than the old bastard she married. John took us to our local pub Thurmans, which you might see on the telly if you like man vs food. Healthy? No. Fun? You bet your hat.
So sleep i think. Rib fest tomorrow.......
Just realised why the other two didn't post. Turns out I am an old bastard.......
Currently listening:
Happy Birthday: The Best of Altered Images
By Altered Images
Category: Life
This is the third time I've tried to post this blog. I don't know if the last 2 failures are an age thing? Could be. Of corse it could be that its 4am, and I'm relaxing after an evening of unhealthy yet ravishing food and drink provided by Beth's brother John who flew in to celebrate our birthdays with us. Beth and I have the same birthday, she of course is younger than the old bastard she married. John took us to our local pub Thurmans, which you might see on the telly if you like man vs food. Healthy? No. Fun? You bet your hat.
So sleep i think. Rib fest tomorrow.......
Just realised why the other two didn't post. Turns out I am an old bastard.......
Currently listening:
Happy Birthday: The Best of Altered Images
By Altered Images
Friday, July 17, 2009
Ways
Current mood:Calmer
Category: Life
Having been given the prohibitively price on drugs that may work a bit, or not, and freaking out quite a bit, I decided to have a bit of a think about it. I now find it kind of releasing.
Working with my MS and not against, interesting idea, wish Id thought of it years ago. I tried to be a performer, when rationally I shouldn't have. In the end its not worked and dumped me in the shit to boot. I still think the drugs company is scum, but, all in all I think getting my life back together is a better move.
There are ways.....
Category: Life
Having been given the prohibitively price on drugs that may work a bit, or not, and freaking out quite a bit, I decided to have a bit of a think about it. I now find it kind of releasing.
Working with my MS and not against, interesting idea, wish Id thought of it years ago. I tried to be a performer, when rationally I shouldn't have. In the end its not worked and dumped me in the shit to boot. I still think the drugs company is scum, but, all in all I think getting my life back together is a better move.
There are ways.....
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Shared solutions my cakey ringpiece
Just got off the phone with shared solutions who provide the drug copaxone I'm been advised to take. Turns out our insurance is dog shit and only covers drugs.administered in hospital. That leaves 30 grand a year to cover. America I'm not the healhtiest twat in the world, apparently in America that means death.
News for you yankee shit house system.
I am really ill, but not as ill as your health system which is at tipping point and will collapse into a pile of shit of its own making, while the test of the world , most of whom have health care which doesn't rank in the low 30's below Morocco and doesn't punish the sick, stand around mumbling, "Bless. Did anyone tell them that there is a cost benefit to decent health care? Never mind, they were good while they lasted.."
"So, shared solutions, remember, there is a special place in hell for cunts like you. Bless. "
News for you yankee shit house system.
I am really ill, but not as ill as your health system which is at tipping point and will collapse into a pile of shit of its own making, while the test of the world , most of whom have health care which doesn't rank in the low 30's below Morocco and doesn't punish the sick, stand around mumbling, "Bless. Did anyone tell them that there is a cost benefit to decent health care? Never mind, they were good while they lasted.."
"So, shared solutions, remember, there is a special place in hell for cunts like you. Bless. "
State of Play
.
Category: Life
Have been taking anti-spasming drugs for the past few weeks. They work. Means I have slowly gone back out in public with out fearing a Karloff moment, accompanied by noise and some undignified dribbling...
Now trying to set up an injection regime. The one thing I always avoided doing. However, turns out I'm quite ill and the injections may slow down the apocalypse for a while.
Its been a weird few months, year? Years? One thing about forgetting a lot of stuff is having no clue what is going on.
I shut down everything. Getting really ill and hiding is like turning off the lights in your life. I wouldn't recommend it. I knew all along it was the worst course I could take, but I did it anyway, because I was really ill and fairly nuts. I'm still really ill, still edging bat shit crazy, but I feel better.
Anyone who was going to come to Edinburgh so see the gig, sorry, I had to pull it, everything caved in all at once. If you want, give me a call, and I'll try and remember some of the jokes I was going to tell.
So, haven't got a clue whats coming next. But today I think it will be OK. Different, but alright.
Currently watching:
Re-Animator
Release date: 2007-03-20
Category: Life
Have been taking anti-spasming drugs for the past few weeks. They work. Means I have slowly gone back out in public with out fearing a Karloff moment, accompanied by noise and some undignified dribbling...
Now trying to set up an injection regime. The one thing I always avoided doing. However, turns out I'm quite ill and the injections may slow down the apocalypse for a while.
Its been a weird few months, year? Years? One thing about forgetting a lot of stuff is having no clue what is going on.
I shut down everything. Getting really ill and hiding is like turning off the lights in your life. I wouldn't recommend it. I knew all along it was the worst course I could take, but I did it anyway, because I was really ill and fairly nuts. I'm still really ill, still edging bat shit crazy, but I feel better.
Anyone who was going to come to Edinburgh so see the gig, sorry, I had to pull it, everything caved in all at once. If you want, give me a call, and I'll try and remember some of the jokes I was going to tell.
So, haven't got a clue whats coming next. But today I think it will be OK. Different, but alright.
Currently watching:
Re-Animator
Release date: 2007-03-20
Monday, June 29, 2009
50 is the new 80
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Life
Funny old week really. Jacko and that bloke who sold Oxy whatsit gone. Poor old Farah, down, getting the same treatment that Mother Thersea got when she made the mistake of dying too close to Diana's orbit. Now here comes Madoff trumping Jacko's 50 gigs with a 150 year prison sentence
Numbers don't matter any more. You get to watch the Ponzi (pyramid ) scheme victims joyfully celebrating Madoff's death interment, whilst the rest of the world mournfully moon walks away
Currently listening:
Off the Wall
By Michael Jackson
Release date: 2001-10-16
Category: Life
Funny old week really. Jacko and that bloke who sold Oxy whatsit gone. Poor old Farah, down, getting the same treatment that Mother Thersea got when she made the mistake of dying too close to Diana's orbit. Now here comes Madoff trumping Jacko's 50 gigs with a 150 year prison sentence
Numbers don't matter any more. You get to watch the Ponzi (pyramid ) scheme victims joyfully celebrating Madoff's death interment, whilst the rest of the world mournfully moon walks away
Currently listening:
Off the Wall
By Michael Jackson
Release date: 2001-10-16
Saturday, June 27, 2009
The day improved
Went to Amy and Seths to a party celebrating him finishing his pharmacy degree. Really cool. Very nice to see everyone and Seth and Amy are 3 weeks away from becoming parents.... great evening.
Own it
Category: Life
OK I will own it. MY MS has been so bad this year, I've had to shut everything down. From any performing, cancelled Edinburgh and an offer of a part in a small film, and basically hermited away, including blogging. I've barely left my house and when I do its usually accompanied by fear that I will spasm and look like a twat. I post this blog, knowing as I type, the temptation to just blank it is growing. I've deleted numerous other blogs as I hate looking like a whinging bollock and much prefer being funny.
There, that gave me pause to grin. Much better.
Currently listening:
Strangeways, Here We Come
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
OK I will own it. MY MS has been so bad this year, I've had to shut everything down. From any performing, cancelled Edinburgh and an offer of a part in a small film, and basically hermited away, including blogging. I've barely left my house and when I do its usually accompanied by fear that I will spasm and look like a twat. I post this blog, knowing as I type, the temptation to just blank it is growing. I've deleted numerous other blogs as I hate looking like a whinging bollock and much prefer being funny.
There, that gave me pause to grin. Much better.
Currently listening:
Strangeways, Here We Come
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday Late Afternoon
Current mood: angsty
Category: Life
Most of me feels like typing a ton of expletives and then, writing, "move on."
Two spasms this morning which knacker the day. Once the spasms have gone, the problems i have become invisible. They are unbeknowst to all but me most of the time. The only time anyone knows what's going on is if a spasm hits. Gets to the point where i look forward to a spasm then at least people can see what the problem is.
What a pitiful blog. Its born from years of pretending that I'm OK and then reality caving in, a giant inedible shit samosa that fills the horizon as far as the eye can see, currently not very far. Fuck it.
Currently listening:
Fuck Religion Fuck Politics Fuck the Lot of You/Don't Throw It All Away
By Chaotic Dischord
Category: Life
Most of me feels like typing a ton of expletives and then, writing, "move on."
Two spasms this morning which knacker the day. Once the spasms have gone, the problems i have become invisible. They are unbeknowst to all but me most of the time. The only time anyone knows what's going on is if a spasm hits. Gets to the point where i look forward to a spasm then at least people can see what the problem is.
What a pitiful blog. Its born from years of pretending that I'm OK and then reality caving in, a giant inedible shit samosa that fills the horizon as far as the eye can see, currently not very far. Fuck it.
Currently listening:
Fuck Religion Fuck Politics Fuck the Lot of You/Don't Throw It All Away
By Chaotic Dischord
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday, monday
Current mood:aware of fuckwittery
Category: Life
ts monday. My legs are surprisingly ok considering the flidathon of last night. Walked down to see he 3 musketeers and staggered back as my right leg ran out of juice. Its the weirdest thing in the world when you body shuts down from the inside The feeling is intensely personal and invisible, while the effect is very public and embarrassing.
On TV right now the health care argument. Problem seems to be that if a cheaper option is offered then the private insurers may be driven out of business. Good. Fuck off you greedy care denying scum. Try using basic cost benefit analysis and as I mentioned before, fuck off.
Caring for others isn't the end of civilization as you know it. It is civilization. But we want our employers health care. Oh, penury, goes along with your mortgage.
10:55 AM 0 Comments
Category: Life
ts monday. My legs are surprisingly ok considering the flidathon of last night. Walked down to see he 3 musketeers and staggered back as my right leg ran out of juice. Its the weirdest thing in the world when you body shuts down from the inside The feeling is intensely personal and invisible, while the effect is very public and embarrassing.
On TV right now the health care argument. Problem seems to be that if a cheaper option is offered then the private insurers may be driven out of business. Good. Fuck off you greedy care denying scum. Try using basic cost benefit analysis and as I mentioned before, fuck off.
Caring for others isn't the end of civilization as you know it. It is civilization. But we want our employers health care. Oh, penury, goes along with your mortgage.
10:55 AM 0 Comments
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Nune 7th
June 7th Lunch with John Feather, who I had not seen for ages. It was really cool to see him. We ate and then came back to the house too sit in the garden and play with Abbey.
Seeing John was one of the most normal things I've done for weeks, I've spent way too much time on my own wondering what's coming next.
Spoke to Sally this week, about her book and said to her that I don't think I can perform again. Truth is this nightmare may pass and I could perform, but I'll end up in the same place I'm in now without getting to work done I wanted.
Ah sod it !This blog is looking be the most self concerned load of old cack ever. Truth is my MS a as bad as its been in the past. I the past I hid in my flat for 3 months got jacked up on steroids, saw few people and waited to get better again. I'm married now so hiding is not an option, feeling guilty, being a twat and nigh on impossible live with whilst cripping out are the new things. Oh yeah and the American for profit health system. Dogshit!!! I ignored what was going on and prayed it would get better, very American prays are freeish, unless you believe the bullshit on the telly and 700 club your worldly goods.
My solution is to write and be as brittle as I like. If you don't like it please feel free to fuck off.
As my wife just pointed out I always feel like the world is coming after me, which it isn't. Or maybe it is. She is a mystery with a white gloss paintbrush, which I may never solve.
Seeing John was one of the most normal things I've done for weeks, I've spent way too much time on my own wondering what's coming next.
Spoke to Sally this week, about her book and said to her that I don't think I can perform again. Truth is this nightmare may pass and I could perform, but I'll end up in the same place I'm in now without getting to work done I wanted.
Ah sod it !This blog is looking be the most self concerned load of old cack ever. Truth is my MS a as bad as its been in the past. I the past I hid in my flat for 3 months got jacked up on steroids, saw few people and waited to get better again. I'm married now so hiding is not an option, feeling guilty, being a twat and nigh on impossible live with whilst cripping out are the new things. Oh yeah and the American for profit health system. Dogshit!!! I ignored what was going on and prayed it would get better, very American prays are freeish, unless you believe the bullshit on the telly and 700 club your worldly goods.
My solution is to write and be as brittle as I like. If you don't like it please feel free to fuck off.
As my wife just pointed out I always feel like the world is coming after me, which it isn't. Or maybe it is. She is a mystery with a white gloss paintbrush, which I may never solve.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Brief.
Its a sunny day. Good.
Currently listening:
Sunny
By Bobby Hebb
Release date: 2006-12-01
4:50 PM 0 Comments(Add Comment)
Currently listening:
Sunny
By Bobby Hebb
Release date: 2006-12-01
4:50 PM 0 Comments(Add Comment)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Shit but eventful
Current mood: angsty
Category: Life
I haven't come close to my computer for a while. The MS which was playing uo a bit kicked the shit out of me. Currently I have spasms which don't even creep up. They arrive down my right side crippling everything in in a Boris Karlof fashion, with accompanying Frankenstein sound effects. Its scary as shit, but once I figured out I wasn't gonna drop dead, annoying and debilitating. I had to quit out of Edinburgh because I'm only recentlybeen able to talk, can't really walk that well and spasms unexpectedly but very firmly occur whenever my body feels like it.
Oh yeah america your doctors are good. your health care insurance system is fucking shit. Any health care system which is based on profit for the insurance companies is uncivilised and embarrassing. Wake up, you are nearly out of time. The stress this system puts your workers under, is the least healthy thing I have ever seen. I say workers because I thought I'd use phrasing that even those idiots who rage against an equitable system can understand.
I never been anywhere that keeps repeating how great it is over and over, miss the basics so badly.
And relax...
So no Edinburgh, bad health, could be worse.....
Currently watching:
NCIS Naval Criminal Investigative Service - The Fifth Season
Release date: 2008-08-26
3:12 PM 0 Comments(Add Comment) |0 KudosTranslate E
Category: Life
I haven't come close to my computer for a while. The MS which was playing uo a bit kicked the shit out of me. Currently I have spasms which don't even creep up. They arrive down my right side crippling everything in in a Boris Karlof fashion, with accompanying Frankenstein sound effects. Its scary as shit, but once I figured out I wasn't gonna drop dead, annoying and debilitating. I had to quit out of Edinburgh because I'm only recentlybeen able to talk, can't really walk that well and spasms unexpectedly but very firmly occur whenever my body feels like it.
Oh yeah america your doctors are good. your health care insurance system is fucking shit. Any health care system which is based on profit for the insurance companies is uncivilised and embarrassing. Wake up, you are nearly out of time. The stress this system puts your workers under, is the least healthy thing I have ever seen. I say workers because I thought I'd use phrasing that even those idiots who rage against an equitable system can understand.
I never been anywhere that keeps repeating how great it is over and over, miss the basics so badly.
And relax...
So no Edinburgh, bad health, could be worse.....
Currently watching:
NCIS Naval Criminal Investigative Service - The Fifth Season
Release date: 2008-08-26
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Party like its 1993 (fuck)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Current mood:acceptance
When I say party like its 1993 ,I mean the year just previous to me knowing what the fuck was going on. Maybe it was earlier? Fuck who cares, this is what happened.
I was gigging, still sharing with my mate Neil when I started to have spasms down my eight hand side, pretty constantly. I gigged on this and remember being on stage at the Hampstead comedy club,in front of a very close up audience and hitting a spasm as I walked on. It was quite amazing relly, the audince didn't know if it was part of the act, and my follow up of 5 minutes on what you think of during a CAT scan (sex) and how trying to stop this is how brain aneurysums occur, confused them all the more.
I mention this because thats whats been going on. Its weird. I can barely functon in the day, am kept up by the twitching then can't function the next day. I haven't talked to people back home about it as I can't really talk.
If I haven't returned a call, for once, it actually is not you. It is me.
The spasms are backing off a bit but I don't know what it means. I know Beth is very patient. This crap has been coming for a couple of years.
I know this. MS is a fucking bastard and I hate its guts.
Thing is when it gets bad I cut everyone off and head for the depths of my brain, the one place I definitely shouldn't be living. After years of this you would think I would of worked this out.
So I intend to chill a lot. Anyone I haven't been in touch with, my apologies....
Current mood:acceptance
When I say party like its 1993 ,I mean the year just previous to me knowing what the fuck was going on. Maybe it was earlier? Fuck who cares, this is what happened.
I was gigging, still sharing with my mate Neil when I started to have spasms down my eight hand side, pretty constantly. I gigged on this and remember being on stage at the Hampstead comedy club,in front of a very close up audience and hitting a spasm as I walked on. It was quite amazing relly, the audince didn't know if it was part of the act, and my follow up of 5 minutes on what you think of during a CAT scan (sex) and how trying to stop this is how brain aneurysums occur, confused them all the more.
I mention this because thats whats been going on. Its weird. I can barely functon in the day, am kept up by the twitching then can't function the next day. I haven't talked to people back home about it as I can't really talk.
If I haven't returned a call, for once, it actually is not you. It is me.
The spasms are backing off a bit but I don't know what it means. I know Beth is very patient. This crap has been coming for a couple of years.
I know this. MS is a fucking bastard and I hate its guts.
Thing is when it gets bad I cut everyone off and head for the depths of my brain, the one place I definitely shouldn't be living. After years of this you would think I would of worked this out.
So I intend to chill a lot. Anyone I haven't been in touch with, my apologies....
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Note to dog
Current mood:fucks sake.....
Category: Life
Note to dog. Why have you woken up now? That special I need a pee whinge, which I know is a bluff, as we were outside half an hour ago. its 2 am. i thought you had an internal clock for this sort of stuff. Is it because Van Damme in Legionairre is on? Has his determination and someWhat balletic fight skills, have awoken the dormant hunter that lies in the domestic?
I look across now, out like a light, presumably dreaming of the hunt.
I cannot type very well.I cannot see very well. I cannot walk very well. I bitch concisely, though.
That bloke who blinked the diving bell and the butterfly was a patient sort. My constant misspelling and mistyping drives me nuts. If I thought an american program would let me read the blog in I would be in heaven. As if that would work. Truth is, barely anyone over here ever knows what I'm really on about. Subtlety is a luxury which cannot be bought, only enjoyed.
Wow that was poncey. True, but wanky nonetheless.
Would be more impressive if I had not misspelled everything and mistyped most of it.
Currently watching:
Legionnaire
Release date: 1999-02-09
Category: Life
Note to dog. Why have you woken up now? That special I need a pee whinge, which I know is a bluff, as we were outside half an hour ago. its 2 am. i thought you had an internal clock for this sort of stuff. Is it because Van Damme in Legionairre is on? Has his determination and someWhat balletic fight skills, have awoken the dormant hunter that lies in the domestic?
I look across now, out like a light, presumably dreaming of the hunt.
I cannot type very well.I cannot see very well. I cannot walk very well. I bitch concisely, though.
That bloke who blinked the diving bell and the butterfly was a patient sort. My constant misspelling and mistyping drives me nuts. If I thought an american program would let me read the blog in I would be in heaven. As if that would work. Truth is, barely anyone over here ever knows what I'm really on about. Subtlety is a luxury which cannot be bought, only enjoyed.
Wow that was poncey. True, but wanky nonetheless.
Would be more impressive if I had not misspelled everything and mistyped most of it.
Currently watching:
Legionnaire
Release date: 1999-02-09
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Modern Cannon fodder.
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Fritz, of the sham-wow advert is going on trial for an altercation with a prostitute in Florida. A horrifying 20 minutes. "cos he can't do this all day," and vague allusions which suggest she may have changed his religion.
Fritz, destined to go over the edge. Modern cannon fodder, pushed to the front so we don't get bored
The tea party thing is a shit idea. I mean really shit.
Glenn beck is on the Sham wow path. When he self-immolates that will be some show, replete with tears.
Does no one in America know what tea bagging means?
News people skonking on about tea bagging. Hilarious.
Currently watching:
Sleepaway Camp III - Teenage Wasteland
Release date: 2002-08-20
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Fritz, of the sham-wow advert is going on trial for an altercation with a prostitute in Florida. A horrifying 20 minutes. "cos he can't do this all day," and vague allusions which suggest she may have changed his religion.
Fritz, destined to go over the edge. Modern cannon fodder, pushed to the front so we don't get bored
The tea party thing is a shit idea. I mean really shit.
Glenn beck is on the Sham wow path. When he self-immolates that will be some show, replete with tears.
Does no one in America know what tea bagging means?
News people skonking on about tea bagging. Hilarious.
Currently watching:
Sleepaway Camp III - Teenage Wasteland
Release date: 2002-08-20
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Its never as easy as you think, it is often harder.
Current mood: amused
Category: Life
My neighbour Paul is neck deep in our malfunctioning dishwasher. A dishwasher,much like a microwave or a fridge is fantastic, until it starts twatting about.
We thought the line was kinked. Of course the shithousery lies a lot deeper than that. The more simple a problem looks, the more difficult it actually is.
This applies in reverse, where the more difficult something is, the simpler you can make it seem. Unless it is actually a pile of shit, in which case you are fooling nobody. The fun bit is that half the time you don't know which one you are dealing with.
Currently listening:
Reality
By David Bowie
Release date: 2003-09-16
Category: Life
My neighbour Paul is neck deep in our malfunctioning dishwasher. A dishwasher,much like a microwave or a fridge is fantastic, until it starts twatting about.
We thought the line was kinked. Of course the shithousery lies a lot deeper than that. The more simple a problem looks, the more difficult it actually is.
This applies in reverse, where the more difficult something is, the simpler you can make it seem. Unless it is actually a pile of shit, in which case you are fooling nobody. The fun bit is that half the time you don't know which one you are dealing with.
Currently listening:
Reality
By David Bowie
Release date: 2003-09-16
Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter Monday
Current mood: discontent
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Its 3:24 am. I've spent the last few hours remembering. that drunk beyond a certain point, I find the need to see the feeling through. I stop drinking and stay awake, whilst the pissed self fades. Watched the Doctor Who special on youtube. OK. Thats it really. I've seen some stunning episodes in this series. This one was OK.
Then watched Watermelon man on Retro TV which is a great film. Melvin van pebbles kicking liberal shit till it hurts.
Now feel the drunk laying off a bit, still left with the feeling that the corporate, handwringing moralising horseshit that passes for religion over here, keeps me a long way from the good catholic altar server I once was.
I think its mainly a crock of superstitious shite that plays on peoples loneliness and fear to get money , obedience and power.
I do like easter eggs though. A pagan tradition, along with bunny rabbits.
Currently listening:
No Religion (U.K. import)
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Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Its 3:24 am. I've spent the last few hours remembering. that drunk beyond a certain point, I find the need to see the feeling through. I stop drinking and stay awake, whilst the pissed self fades. Watched the Doctor Who special on youtube. OK. Thats it really. I've seen some stunning episodes in this series. This one was OK.
Then watched Watermelon man on Retro TV which is a great film. Melvin van pebbles kicking liberal shit till it hurts.
Now feel the drunk laying off a bit, still left with the feeling that the corporate, handwringing moralising horseshit that passes for religion over here, keeps me a long way from the good catholic altar server I once was.
I think its mainly a crock of superstitious shite that plays on peoples loneliness and fear to get money , obedience and power.
I do like easter eggs though. A pagan tradition, along with bunny rabbits.
Currently listening:
No Religion (U.K. import)
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Wednesday, April 8, 2009
BBC. Used to be good.
Current mood: cantankerous
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I'm lived in America for nearly 7 years. I have BBc America. It has adverts. What? If you play clips on their website, its shows some piss arse advert you couldn't give a fuck about before getting to the clip. Doesn't seem to matter how tragic or important the story is. gotta get that ad in. Fucking money grubbing cunts. Has the licence fee been repealed? Have the licensing law vans left our streets? Are they now ggogle vans, trying to get pics of sex shop leavers? The google vans in england are like an ultra modern Daily Sport,
"we are on your road. what you doing?"
When the licence fee was what you paid for no ads, it was a pain in the arse, but made some sort of sense. You could actually go to prison for not paying it, which now looks a little iffy. Stalinist, renditiony, attacking the poor sort of thing.
You show ads. Get fucked. And a lot you put out has a strong scent of shit.
Radio is still great though.
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I'm lived in America for nearly 7 years. I have BBc America. It has adverts. What? If you play clips on their website, its shows some piss arse advert you couldn't give a fuck about before getting to the clip. Doesn't seem to matter how tragic or important the story is. gotta get that ad in. Fucking money grubbing cunts. Has the licence fee been repealed? Have the licensing law vans left our streets? Are they now ggogle vans, trying to get pics of sex shop leavers? The google vans in england are like an ultra modern Daily Sport,
"we are on your road. what you doing?"
When the licence fee was what you paid for no ads, it was a pain in the arse, but made some sort of sense. You could actually go to prison for not paying it, which now looks a little iffy. Stalinist, renditiony, attacking the poor sort of thing.
You show ads. Get fucked. And a lot you put out has a strong scent of shit.
Radio is still great though.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Its you. Really.
Current mood: awake
Category: Life
What do I write with a blog title like that? Bit arsey. Bit up itself. confrontational. Cool.
When I meet people for the first time, i always like to sit back and hear who they think they are. I'm sure we all do it. Or, it could just be me. There is something about first meetings, particularly over booze which lets people say how mean they think they are, and anyone doubting it, look out.
Usually people turn out to be quite cuddly, having got this off their chest. Some don't. They are the utter bastards they said. But, they weren't lying. Aah.......
Currently listening:
Mean Everything To Nothing
By Manchester Orchestra
Release date: 2009-04-21
Category: Life
What do I write with a blog title like that? Bit arsey. Bit up itself. confrontational. Cool.
When I meet people for the first time, i always like to sit back and hear who they think they are. I'm sure we all do it. Or, it could just be me. There is something about first meetings, particularly over booze which lets people say how mean they think they are, and anyone doubting it, look out.
Usually people turn out to be quite cuddly, having got this off their chest. Some don't. They are the utter bastards they said. But, they weren't lying. Aah.......
Currently listening:
Mean Everything To Nothing
By Manchester Orchestra
Release date: 2009-04-21
Monday, April 6, 2009
We've been to the office.
Current mood:homey
Category: Life
This evening Beth and I went to my office. I haven't been there for ages. Jan, Feb, March are the most lethal for my MS every year. April isn't looking that good. It was snowing on the way there, which makes moving to Santa Fe seem like a great idea all over again.
The office is great. I will be chugging down there a lot over April and May to sit and write my show for Edinburgh.
. I know everyone else seems to be running their shows already, from what I'm reading. I don't have that option. If I could gig everyday I would. However, I gig when I can. This means its fresh, or a bit creaky.
So down to the office I go. Time to form the babble into focused bullshit.
Currently listening:
Louder Than Bombs
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
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Category: Life
This evening Beth and I went to my office. I haven't been there for ages. Jan, Feb, March are the most lethal for my MS every year. April isn't looking that good. It was snowing on the way there, which makes moving to Santa Fe seem like a great idea all over again.
The office is great. I will be chugging down there a lot over April and May to sit and write my show for Edinburgh.
. I know everyone else seems to be running their shows already, from what I'm reading. I don't have that option. If I could gig everyday I would. However, I gig when I can. This means its fresh, or a bit creaky.
So down to the office I go. Time to form the babble into focused bullshit.
Currently listening:
Louder Than Bombs
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
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The corner of Arse and Elbow
Current mood:deluded
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Maybe I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm getting things wrong on purpose.
99% pure chocolate, much like 100% pure drugs, pure shite. There is a reason they chuck all that sugar in. Fans of grave dust are in for a treat.
Currently listening:
Meat Is Murder
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Maybe I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm getting things wrong on purpose.
99% pure chocolate, much like 100% pure drugs, pure shite. There is a reason they chuck all that sugar in. Fans of grave dust are in for a treat.
Currently listening:
Meat Is Murder
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Surrounded
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
The front room is full of books. Books we are throwing away, in an attempt to monk ourselves so we don't have to move much. Its stunning the level of shite you accumulate. CD's that never left their plastic wrappers, books whose spines remain uncracked, food that sits in the fridge slowly rotting, awaiting eviction. Slowly rotting awaiting eviction. Hmm. As a life metaphor, quite horrible. Nice turn of phrase though.
If the Devil has all the best tunes, the misanthrope has a lot of the best lines. Being profound and meaningful only ever works by accident. As soon s religion is crossed with money it is worthless. Salesmen selling something pretend in your head, trying to frighten you into believing and paying for something that they aren't even sure about. They sure like the money though.
How did I get from too many books to religion? Bible.
Currently listening:
A Phone Call From God
By Ray Reeves
The front room is full of books. Books we are throwing away, in an attempt to monk ourselves so we don't have to move much. Its stunning the level of shite you accumulate. CD's that never left their plastic wrappers, books whose spines remain uncracked, food that sits in the fridge slowly rotting, awaiting eviction. Slowly rotting awaiting eviction. Hmm. As a life metaphor, quite horrible. Nice turn of phrase though.
If the Devil has all the best tunes, the misanthrope has a lot of the best lines. Being profound and meaningful only ever works by accident. As soon s religion is crossed with money it is worthless. Salesmen selling something pretend in your head, trying to frighten you into believing and paying for something that they aren't even sure about. They sure like the money though.
How did I get from too many books to religion? Bible.
Currently listening:
A Phone Call From God
By Ray Reeves
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Bile Duct
Current mood:draining
Fuck! Shit! Cock! Cunt! Wank!
Aah. Much better.
Currently listening:
I'll Shut up When You Fuck Off
By The Almighty Trigger Happy
Release date: 2000-08-22
Fuck! Shit! Cock! Cunt! Wank!
Aah. Much better.
Currently listening:
I'll Shut up When You Fuck Off
By The Almighty Trigger Happy
Release date: 2000-08-22
The End
Current mood:getonwithit
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
The last. The final. appocalypse. a lot of people base their lives around the belief that the world will end. They hope their religio-superstition is the one, and when everything implodes, their Goddy person will sweep them up into paradise. They are also the same people who watch drug ads like hawks, trying to figure out what is wrong with them now.
What are you worried about? if you are right, death is a fun transition into what you keep bleating on about. A lovely cloud, a beautiful pasture, and no bills. Or, you got it wrong, in which case pack some lotion.
Currently listening:
Olivier Messiaen: Quartet for the End of Time
Release date: 1989-08-11
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
The last. The final. appocalypse. a lot of people base their lives around the belief that the world will end. They hope their religio-superstition is the one, and when everything implodes, their Goddy person will sweep them up into paradise. They are also the same people who watch drug ads like hawks, trying to figure out what is wrong with them now.
What are you worried about? if you are right, death is a fun transition into what you keep bleating on about. A lovely cloud, a beautiful pasture, and no bills. Or, you got it wrong, in which case pack some lotion.
Currently listening:
Olivier Messiaen: Quartet for the End of Time
Release date: 1989-08-11
Very nice, very nice. very nice
Current mood:focused sleepy wakey
Category: Life
spent a great couple of days in Illinois, where we will be moving when we can get our arse in gear. Wasn't really looking forward to coming back. No diss on columbus, which has been a cool place to live. I'm getting twitchy, and my brain has half moved out already.
This happened in England too. As soon as Beth and I knew we were getting married I knew I was leaving England and moving to America.
Movement is one of the few controls I have with MS. When I left england,I had stopped doing stand up because my body couldn't take it anymore. Came to Columbus thinking I would never perform again. Saw an audition for shakespeare in the park and ended up acting for 6 years. Last year MS caught up again and I cannot act on stage anymore. Solution? booked a one man show in Edinburgh at the fringe, which I know I can do, having done a few one man shows while I've been here. To be honest I'm not quite sure what's coming. I know I'm grateful for the opportunities I've been given. But, gotta go. Slowly.
This evening was great. Saw Morrissey at the palace downtown. Gig! What's great about Columbus is that you can see a gig this good and its dead easy to get to, comfortable, great sound, and even the stage invaders waited patiently for the last song and then took being hurled from the stage remarkably well.
Morrissey did a few Smiths tunes, i didn't realise the Death of a Disco Dancer could be that powerful. One of columbus' great strengths is that great bands come through here all the time. i saw Bob Dylan supported by Elvis Costello last year, and the Cult, and Bruce springsteen. This is a great music city. Cheers Columbus.
Currently listening:
Strangeways, Here We Come
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
Category: Life
spent a great couple of days in Illinois, where we will be moving when we can get our arse in gear. Wasn't really looking forward to coming back. No diss on columbus, which has been a cool place to live. I'm getting twitchy, and my brain has half moved out already.
This happened in England too. As soon as Beth and I knew we were getting married I knew I was leaving England and moving to America.
Movement is one of the few controls I have with MS. When I left england,I had stopped doing stand up because my body couldn't take it anymore. Came to Columbus thinking I would never perform again. Saw an audition for shakespeare in the park and ended up acting for 6 years. Last year MS caught up again and I cannot act on stage anymore. Solution? booked a one man show in Edinburgh at the fringe, which I know I can do, having done a few one man shows while I've been here. To be honest I'm not quite sure what's coming. I know I'm grateful for the opportunities I've been given. But, gotta go. Slowly.
This evening was great. Saw Morrissey at the palace downtown. Gig! What's great about Columbus is that you can see a gig this good and its dead easy to get to, comfortable, great sound, and even the stage invaders waited patiently for the last song and then took being hurled from the stage remarkably well.
Morrissey did a few Smiths tunes, i didn't realise the Death of a Disco Dancer could be that powerful. One of columbus' great strengths is that great bands come through here all the time. i saw Bob Dylan supported by Elvis Costello last year, and the Cult, and Bruce springsteen. This is a great music city. Cheers Columbus.
Currently listening:
Strangeways, Here We Come
By The Smiths
Release date: 1990-10-25
Monday, March 30, 2009
In Illinois
Current mood:chilly/cold
Category: Life
Went to a land auction this morning. Word blizzard. Then, over. i think we lost.
Went to John and Kate's last night. Very cool, went to a local Italian ,which served fried chicken livers. The English was happy. Carl bought home a picture. Really suits the room. Now trying to figure out how to put it up without tearing the wall down.
Abbey bouncing backwards. Highly entertaining.
Very chilled / cold.
Currently listening:
Bringing It All Back Home
By Bob Dylan
Release date: 2004-06-01
Category: Life
Went to a land auction this morning. Word blizzard. Then, over. i think we lost.
Went to John and Kate's last night. Very cool, went to a local Italian ,which served fried chicken livers. The English was happy. Carl bought home a picture. Really suits the room. Now trying to figure out how to put it up without tearing the wall down.
Abbey bouncing backwards. Highly entertaining.
Very chilled / cold.
Currently listening:
Bringing It All Back Home
By Bob Dylan
Release date: 2004-06-01
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Time
Current mood:this n that
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Time is an interesting thing. If I have too much, I waste it until what needs to be done, once distant, becomes urgent. I'm wasting time now, writing about wasting time. But; its only wasted because I think it is. Hmm, I'll have bit of a think about that one.
Currently reading:
If Not Now, When? (Penguin Twentieth-Century Classics)
By Primo Levi
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Time is an interesting thing. If I have too much, I waste it until what needs to be done, once distant, becomes urgent. I'm wasting time now, writing about wasting time. But; its only wasted because I think it is. Hmm, I'll have bit of a think about that one.
Currently reading:
If Not Now, When? (Penguin Twentieth-Century Classics)
By Primo Levi
Bluey, no!
Late night hoover.
Current mood:bugger
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Leslie and Ian and the kids are coming today (thursday). miglin is hoovering. 1:13 am. A blue blanket just tried to disappear up the hoover in a fierce deluge of noise. Didn't make it. Hoover still alive. Best line thus far?
"Shit I've swallowed a sock!"
I'm on bathroom. Hopefully wont swallow anything.
Currently listening:
Clean
By Shane & Shane
Release date: 2004-10-19
Current mood:bugger
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Leslie and Ian and the kids are coming today (thursday). miglin is hoovering. 1:13 am. A blue blanket just tried to disappear up the hoover in a fierce deluge of noise. Didn't make it. Hoover still alive. Best line thus far?
"Shit I've swallowed a sock!"
I'm on bathroom. Hopefully wont swallow anything.
Currently listening:
Clean
By Shane & Shane
Release date: 2004-10-19
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Bad fringe.
Current mood:Fringey
Category: Friends
Good sushi. Good shopping.
Now trying to enroll for the Fringe. deadline friday. Good. i failed dismally at the most basic, 'Hey who are ya?" subscription. Fortunately I am married to Beth who has sorted it out in 2 minutes. Of course its now giving the arse and will hopefully be sorted by tomorrow.
Hello sis, who I chatted to for quite a while this evening. You sound in good shape to me.
Hello Mum, who was asleep. If Cat is yawning, she was up a little late.
hello Kev and Vix, hope everything is cool. I think i found you a band you might not know for your birthday. Tricky, but not impossible.
Hello to D and Harry. keep on keeping on, niece and nephew.
Hello to all in England and Paris.
when did I start doing hello everybody blogs?
Hello Emma. For you. "Wednesday."
Currently listening:
New York Groove: The Best of Hello
By Hello
Release date: 2000-07-28
Category: Friends
Good sushi. Good shopping.
Now trying to enroll for the Fringe. deadline friday. Good. i failed dismally at the most basic, 'Hey who are ya?" subscription. Fortunately I am married to Beth who has sorted it out in 2 minutes. Of course its now giving the arse and will hopefully be sorted by tomorrow.
Hello sis, who I chatted to for quite a while this evening. You sound in good shape to me.
Hello Mum, who was asleep. If Cat is yawning, she was up a little late.
hello Kev and Vix, hope everything is cool. I think i found you a band you might not know for your birthday. Tricky, but not impossible.
Hello to D and Harry. keep on keeping on, niece and nephew.
Hello to all in England and Paris.
when did I start doing hello everybody blogs?
Hello Emma. For you. "Wednesday."
Currently listening:
New York Groove: The Best of Hello
By Hello
Release date: 2000-07-28
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The Ghost of remote present.
Current mood:bansheed
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Last night curled up into the space present on a bed littered with paper and boxes. We are clearing out, our first move towards moving. Finding somewhere to go obviously down the road a bit.
Tried to get to sleep to a horror film, Dolls. Old school crap, pre torturing people for an hour and a half. The true torture in the new films is the headache you get trying to work out where the plot is.
Must have rolled onto the remote which operates the light, which started dimming and brightening over and over. Could not find the remote which was stuck under a box, looping over and over. Spooky. took me half an hour to find it, whilst the dolls came to life on the screen behind me. i don't recommend this as away to go to sleep. Particularly not for someone brought up irish catholic who heard the tale of the Banshee repeatedly on family holidays from the age of six ,and became convinced every midnight cat fight was a harbringer of doom.
Currently watching:
Dolls
Release date: 2005-09-20
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Last night curled up into the space present on a bed littered with paper and boxes. We are clearing out, our first move towards moving. Finding somewhere to go obviously down the road a bit.
Tried to get to sleep to a horror film, Dolls. Old school crap, pre torturing people for an hour and a half. The true torture in the new films is the headache you get trying to work out where the plot is.
Must have rolled onto the remote which operates the light, which started dimming and brightening over and over. Could not find the remote which was stuck under a box, looping over and over. Spooky. took me half an hour to find it, whilst the dolls came to life on the screen behind me. i don't recommend this as away to go to sleep. Particularly not for someone brought up irish catholic who heard the tale of the Banshee repeatedly on family holidays from the age of six ,and became convinced every midnight cat fight was a harbringer of doom.
Currently watching:
Dolls
Release date: 2005-09-20
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Cuted to the spot /Frozen in Malashite
Current mood:glued
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Beth and I watched Amanda Byrnes in Sydney White. Plot: Teen goes to college. Tries to join a sorority,. Pisses off the bitch in chief, whose ex boyfriend prefers her. Is humiliated and cast out., Joins the outcasts, whose house is under threat by plans of the afor mentioned bitch in chief. Wins the student president election on the We are all dorks ticket.Everyone ditches bitch in chief and joins the dorks, which everyone decides they are. Its great, predictable, happy go lucky fun.
The never ending shit splat of the Children of the Corn series on the other hand, is a headache throbbing on your TV screen. Children of the Corn had one good spooky idea, which is relentlessly aborted across an ever dwindling landscape of imagination. Film after film after film. That someone would keep writing this shit, is scarier than the films. I see a dark basement with a young man at a typewriter, watching his Citizen Kane dream crushed over and over and over.
Why keep watching it? "The man behind the rows" won't let me turn it off.
Currently watching:
Children of the Corn - Revelation
Release date: 2001-10-09
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Beth and I watched Amanda Byrnes in Sydney White. Plot: Teen goes to college. Tries to join a sorority,. Pisses off the bitch in chief, whose ex boyfriend prefers her. Is humiliated and cast out., Joins the outcasts, whose house is under threat by plans of the afor mentioned bitch in chief. Wins the student president election on the We are all dorks ticket.Everyone ditches bitch in chief and joins the dorks, which everyone decides they are. Its great, predictable, happy go lucky fun.
The never ending shit splat of the Children of the Corn series on the other hand, is a headache throbbing on your TV screen. Children of the Corn had one good spooky idea, which is relentlessly aborted across an ever dwindling landscape of imagination. Film after film after film. That someone would keep writing this shit, is scarier than the films. I see a dark basement with a young man at a typewriter, watching his Citizen Kane dream crushed over and over and over.
Why keep watching it? "The man behind the rows" won't let me turn it off.
Currently watching:
Children of the Corn - Revelation
Release date: 2001-10-09
Friday, March 20, 2009
bullshitorama
Current mood:morningbile
Category: News and Politics
The news is now a bitch-fest, with everyone blaming everyone else for everything. Right now a republican twat is filling my screen with wittering shite about Obama going on Leno. They have to discuss something other than the turd bowl we are in. They shat that into being.
Now a story is coming in about a job fair at a strip club.
" Are you a pervy evil bastard who everyone hates, and most are scared of, except Trudy, who will blow your head off with your own gun in about six months?"
You could be our manager. Show us you have the high voltage twattage we are looking for.
Speaking of blank minds; Sarah Palin has just turned down 300 million dollars of stimulus. Didn't turn down free clothes, will knock back money for the poor.
Bye.
Currently listening:
Hunky Dory
By David Bowie
Release date: 1999-09-28
Category: News and Politics
The news is now a bitch-fest, with everyone blaming everyone else for everything. Right now a republican twat is filling my screen with wittering shite about Obama going on Leno. They have to discuss something other than the turd bowl we are in. They shat that into being.
Now a story is coming in about a job fair at a strip club.
" Are you a pervy evil bastard who everyone hates, and most are scared of, except Trudy, who will blow your head off with your own gun in about six months?"
You could be our manager. Show us you have the high voltage twattage we are looking for.
Speaking of blank minds; Sarah Palin has just turned down 300 million dollars of stimulus. Didn't turn down free clothes, will knock back money for the poor.
Bye.
Currently listening:
Hunky Dory
By David Bowie
Release date: 1999-09-28
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Too shit not to fail.
7:40 am payments never go well
Current mood:whatever
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Two days ago I got a phone call from some bloke. Said he was a collector form the Columbus Dispatch, and did I want to pay my bill? I knew I had not paid it, and got out my card to sort it out. Then heard his TV in the background..
" Where are you? " I asked.
" I am one of the Dispatch collectors who work from home. A cost saving measure on the part of the paper." He said.
"Bye." I said.
Note to Dispatch: anyone with half a brain is not giving their card details to some bloke slumped in front of Fox News.
You are wasting your money.
Today, phoned to pay. Tried to pay what I owed and the next couple of months, which ended up with me paying a bit. I think. They took my email address, which, when said back to me, I didn't recognise. Fine. Bye.
You are losing money at your main collection point.
Had to phone in early as they close their phone lines at 1 pm. Is it 1976?
They have a website which is difficult to navigate, particularly if you want to pay them money.
Bye.
Currently listening:
Good Bye Lenin!
By Yann Tiersen
Release date: 2004-04-06
Current mood:whatever
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Two days ago I got a phone call from some bloke. Said he was a collector form the Columbus Dispatch, and did I want to pay my bill? I knew I had not paid it, and got out my card to sort it out. Then heard his TV in the background..
" Where are you? " I asked.
" I am one of the Dispatch collectors who work from home. A cost saving measure on the part of the paper." He said.
"Bye." I said.
Note to Dispatch: anyone with half a brain is not giving their card details to some bloke slumped in front of Fox News.
You are wasting your money.
Today, phoned to pay. Tried to pay what I owed and the next couple of months, which ended up with me paying a bit. I think. They took my email address, which, when said back to me, I didn't recognise. Fine. Bye.
You are losing money at your main collection point.
Had to phone in early as they close their phone lines at 1 pm. Is it 1976?
They have a website which is difficult to navigate, particularly if you want to pay them money.
Bye.
Currently listening:
Good Bye Lenin!
By Yann Tiersen
Release date: 2004-04-06
The Joy of the Conway
Current mood:wakeyish
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
St Patricks day gone. Started badly, MS bad walking. I try to walk and my body says, " You reckon? " Shit start. Then, improved. Beth was getting her presentation together for her class, then Clay turned up. Went to the back and gave my approximation of help as he cleared the leaves and stuff. Could only find mini lady gardening gloves. Squeezed them on. Felt almost useful.
Came back to the house had a St Patricks day quarter pounder with cheese, chips and a green milkshake.Green milkshake. The maximum Leprechaun.
What is that green exactly?
Passed out. Awoke . Beth had nailed her presentation, and Conways irish Ale was on the menu. A great beer from Great Lakes brewing company, hopefully not seasonal. Quite a beer. worth coming around for. Now watching Be Kind Rewind. Not bad at all.
Realised today that I'm gonna whack up tunes quickly. I'm better getting them out quick, as the ideas come. Quite punky really. Unless it isn't.
Currently watching:
Be Kind Rewind
Release date: 2008-06-17
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
St Patricks day gone. Started badly, MS bad walking. I try to walk and my body says, " You reckon? " Shit start. Then, improved. Beth was getting her presentation together for her class, then Clay turned up. Went to the back and gave my approximation of help as he cleared the leaves and stuff. Could only find mini lady gardening gloves. Squeezed them on. Felt almost useful.
Came back to the house had a St Patricks day quarter pounder with cheese, chips and a green milkshake.Green milkshake. The maximum Leprechaun.
What is that green exactly?
Passed out. Awoke . Beth had nailed her presentation, and Conways irish Ale was on the menu. A great beer from Great Lakes brewing company, hopefully not seasonal. Quite a beer. worth coming around for. Now watching Be Kind Rewind. Not bad at all.
Realised today that I'm gonna whack up tunes quickly. I'm better getting them out quick, as the ideas come. Quite punky really. Unless it isn't.
Currently watching:
Be Kind Rewind
Release date: 2008-06-17
Monday, March 16, 2009
That's alright Sam, I'll get the next one.
Samwell captain unkillable of THE DEATH ROAD
Current mood:bless
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Watching the history channel. Documentary about the death road, which runs through Bolivia. Its the scariest looking road you've ever seen. Barely enough room for two cars to pass, and a 2000 foot unguarded drop to the the valley below.
They drive buses up this road. Kind of like the coach driver on Tenerife heading into the mountains, apparently driving on magic air.
Samwell was on a bus when it went off the side into the valley. killed 50 people including his wife. His son went missing. Got on another bus to go back to the site of the crash and find his son. Bus went off the cliff again. 20 people dead. No sign of his son. No one wants to ride the bus with Samwell anymore.
As a balance to Samwell, Timateo is a human traffic light. He stands with his home made signs trying to keep people from going over the cliff. He works the devils corners , where the rescuers have trouble going.
Bolivia is hard as nails.
Currently listening:
Don't Fear the Reaper
By Blue Oyster Cult
Release date: 1997-01-01
Current mood:bless
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Watching the history channel. Documentary about the death road, which runs through Bolivia. Its the scariest looking road you've ever seen. Barely enough room for two cars to pass, and a 2000 foot unguarded drop to the the valley below.
They drive buses up this road. Kind of like the coach driver on Tenerife heading into the mountains, apparently driving on magic air.
Samwell was on a bus when it went off the side into the valley. killed 50 people including his wife. His son went missing. Got on another bus to go back to the site of the crash and find his son. Bus went off the cliff again. 20 people dead. No sign of his son. No one wants to ride the bus with Samwell anymore.
As a balance to Samwell, Timateo is a human traffic light. He stands with his home made signs trying to keep people from going over the cliff. He works the devils corners , where the rescuers have trouble going.
Bolivia is hard as nails.
Currently listening:
Don't Fear the Reaper
By Blue Oyster Cult
Release date: 1997-01-01
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Death. Yawn. Destruction. Zzzzzzzz......
The world is a dangerously boring place
Current mood:actionbored
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Watching The Unit. Never seen it before, so was a little surprised to see a ton of people drop dead in the first few minutes. Poison gas everywhere with those who realised rushing around securing spaces against the gas. Having never seen Unit before, I was impressed by their resourcefulness. Now checked it out online and know they are some secret government thingy, who keep it secret from their families. They all talk military shorthand, so I think that secret may be gone.
And its a bit crap. No cure for that.
Currently listening:
Being Boring
By Pet Shop Boys
Current mood:actionbored
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Watching The Unit. Never seen it before, so was a little surprised to see a ton of people drop dead in the first few minutes. Poison gas everywhere with those who realised rushing around securing spaces against the gas. Having never seen Unit before, I was impressed by their resourcefulness. Now checked it out online and know they are some secret government thingy, who keep it secret from their families. They all talk military shorthand, so I think that secret may be gone.
And its a bit crap. No cure for that.
Currently listening:
Being Boring
By Pet Shop Boys
London, back in the day....
London cafeterias 50's - 60's
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B92MnoPVtGs
Ah, the old days.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B92MnoPVtGs
Ah, the old days.....
Friday, March 13, 2009
Dibbs, ice cream of SaTAN!!!!!
Current mood:fullhappy
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
I'm supposed to be asleep. I can't sleep. Not now. I've been mainlining Dibbs. For those who don't know, Dibbs are little ice creams that come in packs of legion. I was hooked whilst at a cinema. The dark. The Dibbs. The end. The films over? Was it good?
If you find yourself in a Dibbs fracas, putting loads in a bowl and chucking in a few raisins does not make it healthy. It makes you a delusional, soon to be tubby, but happy, twat.
Head asleep. Tummy awake. Dibbs so close. Leave them........
Currently watching:
Grindhouse Presents, Planet Terror - Extended and Unrated (Two-Disc Special Edition)
Release date: 2007-10-16
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
I'm supposed to be asleep. I can't sleep. Not now. I've been mainlining Dibbs. For those who don't know, Dibbs are little ice creams that come in packs of legion. I was hooked whilst at a cinema. The dark. The Dibbs. The end. The films over? Was it good?
If you find yourself in a Dibbs fracas, putting loads in a bowl and chucking in a few raisins does not make it healthy. It makes you a delusional, soon to be tubby, but happy, twat.
Head asleep. Tummy awake. Dibbs so close. Leave them........
Currently watching:
Grindhouse Presents, Planet Terror - Extended and Unrated (Two-Disc Special Edition)
Release date: 2007-10-16
Thursday, March 12, 2009
the joy of maybe
Either or
Current mood:good / bad
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
a couple of days in the MS hot /cold oops, you're fucked /you're not matrix are calming a little, unless they aren't. Or they are. This is how I answer pretty much any question. It will be genius, or it will be shit. Its going to great, unless it isn't.
I love the 50 /50 answer, it leaves so much room, unless it doesn't.
Currently listening:
Swift & Changeable
By MF Doom & Ghostface
Current mood:good / bad
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
a couple of days in the MS hot /cold oops, you're fucked /you're not matrix are calming a little, unless they aren't. Or they are. This is how I answer pretty much any question. It will be genius, or it will be shit. Its going to great, unless it isn't.
I love the 50 /50 answer, it leaves so much room, unless it doesn't.
Currently listening:
Swift & Changeable
By MF Doom & Ghostface
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Worldwide shootings vs Ohio piss drinker
Current mood:mellow yellow
Category: News and Politics
Shooty day. Bad. People going nuts. it was a full moon last night, apparently a little overwhelming for some. Where lies the cheer amidst these tales of carnage?
Beth and I were watching the local news when the pervy old young boy's piss drinker tale rode in like a white (yellow) knight to smite the depression of the day. He's been at it for 17 years 17 YEARS! That's a lot of piss. Is he trying to drink his own body-weight?
They can't arrest him, technically its not illegal, just disgusting. He does ask for, not demand the piss. Bless.
He moves on when people can stomach it no more, and takes the piss ingestion carnival on the road. Yeeh and indeed Hah.
So thanks my urine gurgling friend, you cast a happy yellow shadow over an otherwise dark day.
Currently listening:
Piss Factory
By Piss Factory
Release date: 1993-09-28
Category: News and Politics
Shooty day. Bad. People going nuts. it was a full moon last night, apparently a little overwhelming for some. Where lies the cheer amidst these tales of carnage?
Beth and I were watching the local news when the pervy old young boy's piss drinker tale rode in like a white (yellow) knight to smite the depression of the day. He's been at it for 17 years 17 YEARS! That's a lot of piss. Is he trying to drink his own body-weight?
They can't arrest him, technically its not illegal, just disgusting. He does ask for, not demand the piss. Bless.
He moves on when people can stomach it no more, and takes the piss ingestion carnival on the road. Yeeh and indeed Hah.
So thanks my urine gurgling friend, you cast a happy yellow shadow over an otherwise dark day.
Currently listening:
Piss Factory
By Piss Factory
Release date: 1993-09-28
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Death. Best foot forward.
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
All comics have died. Being booed off is actually preferable to total silence and the pindrop arse clench of a bored crowd. All comics have died. Its the only place you learn. When it goes well you enjoy the work you have done. But you learn little, if anything.
Any comic who tells you they have never died, is lying, delusional, or just shit.
Anyone who is good at anything says the same thing. The reason they got good, was that they got it wrong in every way they could find. They didn't get booed off, but I think surgeons and soldiers have a steeper learning curve than comics.
Embrace the bad gigs. The check for a comic is to ask one they haven't met before
"What's the best gig you ever did? "
Usually mumbling and a bit of a response.
" What's the worst gig? "
Then the talk really starts, and the memories start flying....
All comics have died. Being booed off is actually preferable to total silence and the pindrop arse clench of a bored crowd. All comics have died. Its the only place you learn. When it goes well you enjoy the work you have done. But you learn little, if anything.
Any comic who tells you they have never died, is lying, delusional, or just shit.
Anyone who is good at anything says the same thing. The reason they got good, was that they got it wrong in every way they could find. They didn't get booed off, but I think surgeons and soldiers have a steeper learning curve than comics.
Embrace the bad gigs. The check for a comic is to ask one they haven't met before
"What's the best gig you ever did? "
Usually mumbling and a bit of a response.
" What's the worst gig? "
Then the talk really starts, and the memories start flying....
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Is it genius or is it shit?
Current mood:bless
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
My mate Sam back in England sends me things every now and again, always with the question
" Is it genius? Or is it shit?"
Fantastic question. The two I remember distinctly were Goldie Lookin' Chain amd Shaun Ryder's album. My conclusion on both was they were touched with genius. My rule is, if you can't tell, there is genius in there somewhere, even if you don't like it.
Quandary.
On Fearnet there is a film to boot 24/7 for free called Days of Darkness. It is shit. But, it is worth watching to see the ex porn actresses speech. This is, well, unexpectd to say the least. Kind of like watching Jack of Swords 5 which rationally is rubbish, just to hear the line
" En Guarde motherfucker! "
Bizarrely enough, the ex porn actresses speech made my morning. Its about 10 mins in (not a line from her speech) and well worth a look (which could be)
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
My mate Sam back in England sends me things every now and again, always with the question
" Is it genius? Or is it shit?"
Fantastic question. The two I remember distinctly were Goldie Lookin' Chain amd Shaun Ryder's album. My conclusion on both was they were touched with genius. My rule is, if you can't tell, there is genius in there somewhere, even if you don't like it.
Quandary.
On Fearnet there is a film to boot 24/7 for free called Days of Darkness. It is shit. But, it is worth watching to see the ex porn actresses speech. This is, well, unexpectd to say the least. Kind of like watching Jack of Swords 5 which rationally is rubbish, just to hear the line
" En Guarde motherfucker! "
Bizarrely enough, the ex porn actresses speech made my morning. Its about 10 mins in (not a line from her speech) and well worth a look (which could be)
Modern Dictation Angry Politics. Bouncy, bouncy....
Current mood:rebublishame
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
You wake up. You are alone. The bed is huge, surrounded by photos. They are all the same. Your clothes are in a pile on the floor. The rest of the floor is taken up by a giant pair of trousers. The biggest cigar you have ever seen smoulders in an ashtray full of money. You remember a voice. Forceful,. Full of shit, but forceful. Its like the 80's never ended. You have just had sex with Rush Limbaugh.
3:51 AM 0 Comments(Add
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
You wake up. You are alone. The bed is huge, surrounded by photos. They are all the same. Your clothes are in a pile on the floor. The rest of the floor is taken up by a giant pair of trousers. The biggest cigar you have ever seen smoulders in an ashtray full of money. You remember a voice. Forceful,. Full of shit, but forceful. Its like the 80's never ended. You have just had sex with Rush Limbaugh.
3:51 AM 0 Comments(Add
Monday, March 2, 2009
You buy it you dopey twat!
The big concern at the moment is that people are saving their money, and not spending enough. I wonder how the world economy got so fucked........
How to start a facebook controversy
Current mood:hitting a wasps nest with a stick.
Category: Life
This morning I put on my status update that I just realised my single female friends dwell in the realm of the cougar, where do the men dwell?
This has got some responses. People mainly find it funny, some find it offensive. i see both points. Personally I think cougar and MILF are shit-house terms conncocted by unlaid sad sacks, who have a memory of sex, which is dwindling fast.
Am I sitting back and watching the fur fly ,working out the routine I can get from it? Oh yeah.....
Category: Life
This morning I put on my status update that I just realised my single female friends dwell in the realm of the cougar, where do the men dwell?
This has got some responses. People mainly find it funny, some find it offensive. i see both points. Personally I think cougar and MILF are shit-house terms conncocted by unlaid sad sacks, who have a memory of sex, which is dwindling fast.
Am I sitting back and watching the fur fly ,working out the routine I can get from it? Oh yeah.....
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Bizarre to Bond
Current mood:sleepywakey
Category: Life
Fell asleep watching I'm a cyborg but that's ok, a way out there but very sweet romantic film about love in a mental hospital. Checked back in briefly for a quick look at the The Man With The golden Gun. Now awake, coffee on, With Mr Moore strutting his stuff in A View To a Kill. Who can see Grace Jones without hearing "Pull up to the bumper baby.."? Tune!
Category: Life
Fell asleep watching I'm a cyborg but that's ok, a way out there but very sweet romantic film about love in a mental hospital. Checked back in briefly for a quick look at the The Man With The golden Gun. Now awake, coffee on, With Mr Moore strutting his stuff in A View To a Kill. Who can see Grace Jones without hearing "Pull up to the bumper baby.."? Tune!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A hunk a hunk of burning notice
Current mood:aah.....
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Watching the compendium of Burn notice they are running on USA. Its so cold outside that Abbey takes one sniff, and then heads back to the couch. A TV marathon is the only none freeze your tits off option. If you haven't seen this show, do yourself a favour. Now that the wire is finished, this is probably the best show on TV. If explosions, spies and a girlfriend who's idea of fun is blowing things up, is to your taste, you are in....
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Watching the compendium of Burn notice they are running on USA. Its so cold outside that Abbey takes one sniff, and then heads back to the couch. A TV marathon is the only none freeze your tits off option. If you haven't seen this show, do yourself a favour. Now that the wire is finished, this is probably the best show on TV. If explosions, spies and a girlfriend who's idea of fun is blowing things up, is to your taste, you are in....
Friday, February 27, 2009
rollercoaster day
Current mood:placated
Category: Life
Just got another call, and the charge is re-dropped. Maybe not utter shit after all. aah...
Category: Life
Just got another call, and the charge is re-dropped. Maybe not utter shit after all. aah...
My mistake, they are c@@ts after all
Turns out they are cunts. Just got a call saying, they would drop some of the charge, but keep the service call, the largest charge. Anyone know an alarm company who know what the fuck they are doing?
Capsule review. Apollo Alarms. U T T E R S H I T
Capsule review. Apollo Alarms. U T T E R S H I T
Cool, disaster, cool....
mood:hatredofdroolingbasketweavingfuckwits
Category: Life
This morning. Watched my name is Bruce. Bruce Campbell's new film. I've always been a big fan of Bruce, and the film is a lot of fun. Then watched Lee Mack's live stand up DVD I got from england. He is excellent. So the day started well. Then checked my answerphone. Call from Apollo Alarms saying I owed them money, and I needed to pay or they would disconnect the alarm. The charge is for a battery they put in I didn't need, during the 5 and a half months it took them to work out what the problem with the alarm was. 5 and a half months of no or dogshit service, I fucking hate these people. If you cannot do your job properly, suck it up you witless watse of air. charging for mistakes it takes you months to rectify just gets on my tits. I did phone and leave a message. Oops. I think I may have wanted to give the ire slightly longer to die down. If fairness I didn't call them braindead cunts, which is what I was thinking. I did give a mini speech on how inept and shit I think they are, and how I would happily dump them like a festering turd, and let everyone I knew know that dealing with them would be inadvisable. Should of stuck with the cunt line really...
And relax.
After this post got a call, which ended in the charge being dropped, Aah.....
Category: Life
This morning. Watched my name is Bruce. Bruce Campbell's new film. I've always been a big fan of Bruce, and the film is a lot of fun. Then watched Lee Mack's live stand up DVD I got from england. He is excellent. So the day started well. Then checked my answerphone. Call from Apollo Alarms saying I owed them money, and I needed to pay or they would disconnect the alarm. The charge is for a battery they put in I didn't need, during the 5 and a half months it took them to work out what the problem with the alarm was. 5 and a half months of no or dogshit service, I fucking hate these people. If you cannot do your job properly, suck it up you witless watse of air. charging for mistakes it takes you months to rectify just gets on my tits. I did phone and leave a message. Oops. I think I may have wanted to give the ire slightly longer to die down. If fairness I didn't call them braindead cunts, which is what I was thinking. I did give a mini speech on how inept and shit I think they are, and how I would happily dump them like a festering turd, and let everyone I knew know that dealing with them would be inadvisable. Should of stuck with the cunt line really...
And relax.
After this post got a call, which ended in the charge being dropped, Aah.....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Behind you. No really, behind you.......
Current mood:boo
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I always knew I really liked horror films. My discovery of my new favourite cable channels has cemented this. On the free movies on demand channel is a channel called fearnet, where you can boot horror films 24/7. I have watched Saw 3, shit but ok, and just watched Prince of Darkness by John Carpenter, who along with George Romero and Wes Craven and for disturbing, David Cronenberg, seems to have a real grasp on what horror is supposed to do. The reason good horror is scary isn't gore, though this is fun, its because they have concrete abstract ideas, that you know are impossible, but look plausible.
The other channel is called chiller, which shows a lot of horror, but also runs the twilight zone and the not that gory, memory of college sub hitchcockian Freddy's Nightmares. I remember when this came out, fun, dumb, and weirdly watchable. When horror is done properly it is quite something. Usually its shit, but then so are most attempts at art.
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I always knew I really liked horror films. My discovery of my new favourite cable channels has cemented this. On the free movies on demand channel is a channel called fearnet, where you can boot horror films 24/7. I have watched Saw 3, shit but ok, and just watched Prince of Darkness by John Carpenter, who along with George Romero and Wes Craven and for disturbing, David Cronenberg, seems to have a real grasp on what horror is supposed to do. The reason good horror is scary isn't gore, though this is fun, its because they have concrete abstract ideas, that you know are impossible, but look plausible.
The other channel is called chiller, which shows a lot of horror, but also runs the twilight zone and the not that gory, memory of college sub hitchcockian Freddy's Nightmares. I remember when this came out, fun, dumb, and weirdly watchable. When horror is done properly it is quite something. Usually its shit, but then so are most attempts at art.
Say hello Mickey Mouse?
Current mood:hmmmmm......
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Bobby Jindal. A response to Obama's speech, a toilet flush on a burgeoning career. In my previous blog, I said when I thought I was going to get a cancer diagnosis, I figured 'I'd be told to get a disneyland trip in. Bobby jindal spent today at Disneyworld.....
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Bobby Jindal. A response to Obama's speech, a toilet flush on a burgeoning career. In my previous blog, I said when I thought I was going to get a cancer diagnosis, I figured 'I'd be told to get a disneyland trip in. Bobby jindal spent today at Disneyworld.....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Some things about me....
Current mood: chill
Category: Life
I don't want to do the 25 things list that flits around facebook, fascinating though I find it.
I have spent the last 2 days basically unconscious. MS and rapid weather change do not mix.
I have had MS most of my life, and have no idea what it would be like to feel well.
Most of the time I don't mind. Sometimes, like now, I can feel the neurological time bomb ticking.
I quit acting because I cannot physically do it anymore.
Unless you mean film.
I can do stand up, which I thought I would never do again when I came to America.
Which is why I did Shakespeare for 6 years.
That was my solution.
I hear funny. Amazing, but it does mean I can never see or hear anything at face value.
I have played guitar since I was six.
My MS first showed itself when I stood on stage at a gig with my brother's band, and discovered I could not play.
My solution was to become a comic.
Really.
When I was diagnosed with MS I thought the neurologist was going to tell me I had cancer, and get a disneyland trip in.
When he told me it was MS I actually whooped in relief.
I have relapsing remitting MS. if I am physically attacked, it could move to secondary Progressive and kill me.
If I have to face death because you attack me, so do you.
Really.
I am a happy go lucky sort.
Really.
How many things is this?
Well, it seems v MS based, but that is what is kicking my head in right now.
I think thats enough, but I feel I should end in a positive.
I am lucky enough to know what love feels like.
Category: Life
I don't want to do the 25 things list that flits around facebook, fascinating though I find it.
I have spent the last 2 days basically unconscious. MS and rapid weather change do not mix.
I have had MS most of my life, and have no idea what it would be like to feel well.
Most of the time I don't mind. Sometimes, like now, I can feel the neurological time bomb ticking.
I quit acting because I cannot physically do it anymore.
Unless you mean film.
I can do stand up, which I thought I would never do again when I came to America.
Which is why I did Shakespeare for 6 years.
That was my solution.
I hear funny. Amazing, but it does mean I can never see or hear anything at face value.
I have played guitar since I was six.
My MS first showed itself when I stood on stage at a gig with my brother's band, and discovered I could not play.
My solution was to become a comic.
Really.
When I was diagnosed with MS I thought the neurologist was going to tell me I had cancer, and get a disneyland trip in.
When he told me it was MS I actually whooped in relief.
I have relapsing remitting MS. if I am physically attacked, it could move to secondary Progressive and kill me.
If I have to face death because you attack me, so do you.
Really.
I am a happy go lucky sort.
Really.
How many things is this?
Well, it seems v MS based, but that is what is kicking my head in right now.
I think thats enough, but I feel I should end in a positive.
I am lucky enough to know what love feels like.
580 and counting....
Current mood: amused
Category: Pets and Animals
The most hits on a blog I have ever had in a day is 135. I was very pleased with this. To my certain knowledge, Abbey's post has received 580 views on myspace, and counting , in one day. A star is born. Woof!
Category: Pets and Animals
The most hits on a blog I have ever had in a day is 135. I was very pleased with this. To my certain knowledge, Abbey's post has received 580 views on myspace, and counting , in one day. A star is born. Woof!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Who ate all the pita bread?
Current mood:ah hah!
An empty box. A mystery. What was in the box? Last night we had a really good dinner from the happy greek. That box had 6 really good pita breads in. Beth thought I had finished them. No. There were 3 left when I went to bed. So where oh where did the three remaining pitas go?
Hang on whos that waddling around, collar clanking? Abbey you fat bastard! You ate all the pita. You ate all the pita. You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pita......
Currently watching:
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Unrated Widescreen Edition)
Release date: 2008-09-30
An empty box. A mystery. What was in the box? Last night we had a really good dinner from the happy greek. That box had 6 really good pita breads in. Beth thought I had finished them. No. There were 3 left when I went to bed. So where oh where did the three remaining pitas go?
Hang on whos that waddling around, collar clanking? Abbey you fat bastard! You ate all the pita. You ate all the pita. You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pita......
Currently watching:
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Unrated Widescreen Edition)
Release date: 2008-09-30
It looks good, but...
.
Current mood:memorylaney
Category: Life
The assassin bug (BBC NEWS)
This almost translucent insect moves its long, flexible legs with the slow-motion grace of a T'ai Chi master. He is mesmerising to watch, but lightning quick when required.
Tiny flies, drawn to the bat droppings, are grabbed by the assassin, held down and their bodies injected with digestive enzymes.
When their insides turn to soup, the bug sucks them dry. All that remains is a husk.
The final act of the assassin is to break up the desiccated shell of its victim and stick those fragments onto the miniscule hooked hairs on its legs; the debris serves as camouflage necessary to snare the next victim.
I think I went out with this bird.
Current mood:memorylaney
Category: Life
The assassin bug (BBC NEWS)
This almost translucent insect moves its long, flexible legs with the slow-motion grace of a T'ai Chi master. He is mesmerising to watch, but lightning quick when required.
Tiny flies, drawn to the bat droppings, are grabbed by the assassin, held down and their bodies injected with digestive enzymes.
When their insides turn to soup, the bug sucks them dry. All that remains is a husk.
The final act of the assassin is to break up the desiccated shell of its victim and stick those fragments onto the miniscule hooked hairs on its legs; the debris serves as camouflage necessary to snare the next victim.
I think I went out with this bird.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
All indie and shit....
Current mood:indie
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Watching the Independent Spirit awards. Way more fun than the oscars. Lots of booze (?), certainly swearing. Still haven't seen most of the films, much like the oscars, but, unlike the oscars, it matters not at all. Person up now is making the classic Oscar mistake, of being all surprised and shit, therefore "I have no speech, and I'm so undeserving...."
Just win already! Take your gong thingy and sit down.
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Watching the Independent Spirit awards. Way more fun than the oscars. Lots of booze (?), certainly swearing. Still haven't seen most of the films, much like the oscars, but, unlike the oscars, it matters not at all. Person up now is making the classic Oscar mistake, of being all surprised and shit, therefore "I have no speech, and I'm so undeserving...."
Just win already! Take your gong thingy and sit down.
A lovely evening
Current mood:knowingly heading for diappointment
Category: Friends
Rhon and Clay turned up, all unexpected like. Pick up Stewart and go to his fav Mexican El Vaquero. Really nice restaurant. Food amazing. Price? Not so bad really. Drank a Blue Curucao, just like being on being on holiday again, but cold. Really cold.
Dropped Stewart home (work in the morning) came back had a few Coronas, keeping with the theme pf the evening. Now 5:15 am.
Just watched Lisa Lampenelli. Very funny, sweet, but acid, my favourite. Now Aliens versus Predator is on. I know this is shit, I really do, yet here I am hoping against hope the script and the acting changed while I wasn't looking.....
Currently watching:
Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem
Release date: 2008-04-15
Category: Friends
Rhon and Clay turned up, all unexpected like. Pick up Stewart and go to his fav Mexican El Vaquero. Really nice restaurant. Food amazing. Price? Not so bad really. Drank a Blue Curucao, just like being on being on holiday again, but cold. Really cold.
Dropped Stewart home (work in the morning) came back had a few Coronas, keeping with the theme pf the evening. Now 5:15 am.
Just watched Lisa Lampenelli. Very funny, sweet, but acid, my favourite. Now Aliens versus Predator is on. I know this is shit, I really do, yet here I am hoping against hope the script and the acting changed while I wasn't looking.....
Currently watching:
Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem
Release date: 2008-04-15
Friday, February 20, 2009
The elephant in the classroom
Current mood:musey
Category: Life
Children in England are getting a "deficient" primary education because schools are focusing too much on maths, English and testing, a report has said. (BBC NEWS)
This made me think what i learned at primary school
1 speling
2 If the girls stand in a group in the corner laugh and point at you, you are doomed.
3 If you are left hand the nun teaching you thinks you are the devil.
4 This is the first of three schools that will threaten to expel you.
5 You cant boo Cinderella on and get away with it.
6 Dont cheat on your first eye test, it goes badly later on.
7 A lady called Thatcher will steal you school milk and then try and break the world.
8 Sandpits always have dogshit in them somewhere.
9 English and Maths are no substitute for drinking your milk with the right people every now and again
10 There is no shame to knowing country dancing way too well be the age of 7.
11 Dont try and be someone you are not, unless you have 3 toes on one foot, then keep that to yourself.....
Currently listening:
Barney - Let's Play School
Category: Life
Children in England are getting a "deficient" primary education because schools are focusing too much on maths, English and testing, a report has said. (BBC NEWS)
This made me think what i learned at primary school
1 speling
2 If the girls stand in a group in the corner laugh and point at you, you are doomed.
3 If you are left hand the nun teaching you thinks you are the devil.
4 This is the first of three schools that will threaten to expel you.
5 You cant boo Cinderella on and get away with it.
6 Dont cheat on your first eye test, it goes badly later on.
7 A lady called Thatcher will steal you school milk and then try and break the world.
8 Sandpits always have dogshit in them somewhere.
9 English and Maths are no substitute for drinking your milk with the right people every now and again
10 There is no shame to knowing country dancing way too well be the age of 7.
11 Dont try and be someone you are not, unless you have 3 toes on one foot, then keep that to yourself.....
Currently listening:
Barney - Let's Play School
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I grew an ache..
Current mood:bruisyhappy...
Category: Life
Earlier on, we picked Abbey up form the doggy beauticians. Smells great, cute little bows in her hair. Princess style. Lasted 2 hours. We are now one ear bow down, still smells great though.
Beth took Abbey home and I went to Sue's shop to buy her a new collar. Got a really cool hemp one and a new leash, and two dog bakery treats. Decided that the cold meant that cupcakes were necessary, so I went to Bakery Gingham and picked up a box of frosted heaven.
Walking home fell. One of those falls when you know you are going, its only a matter of where. I picked the grass outside of somebody's house. I got to choose where, because one of the things we get taught in MS yoga is how to fall. Basically you get to the ground as quick as you can, and take the impact on your arse.
The cupcakes did not fare as well.
Looked across from my now horizontal aspect to watch them fall one by one from the box, frost down on the the pavement.
Got home ready to pitch them into the bin. Beth got a knife out and sculpted them back to life.
Bruises flowering aside, happy days......
Currently listening:
Safe Trip Home
By Dido
Release date: 2008-11-18
Category: Life
Earlier on, we picked Abbey up form the doggy beauticians. Smells great, cute little bows in her hair. Princess style. Lasted 2 hours. We are now one ear bow down, still smells great though.
Beth took Abbey home and I went to Sue's shop to buy her a new collar. Got a really cool hemp one and a new leash, and two dog bakery treats. Decided that the cold meant that cupcakes were necessary, so I went to Bakery Gingham and picked up a box of frosted heaven.
Walking home fell. One of those falls when you know you are going, its only a matter of where. I picked the grass outside of somebody's house. I got to choose where, because one of the things we get taught in MS yoga is how to fall. Basically you get to the ground as quick as you can, and take the impact on your arse.
The cupcakes did not fare as well.
Looked across from my now horizontal aspect to watch them fall one by one from the box, frost down on the the pavement.
Got home ready to pitch them into the bin. Beth got a knife out and sculpted them back to life.
Bruises flowering aside, happy days......
Currently listening:
Safe Trip Home
By Dido
Release date: 2008-11-18
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