Oh...

We are surrounded by stuff. We are given every reason to stop thinking. Why ask questions when everything is so immediate, and easy? Why is it acceptable for some obvious criminals, bankers at the moment, to walk as if nothing has happened, whilst peoples lives and dreams drown in their wake of gutless greed?
Why are ideas  reduced to nothing,  whilst trying to please people who do not like when others do not live in their land of pretend? Why are cartoons a death sentence?
I think its because when bullshit is allowed to fester, it builds a huge tower of truth from lies. I think we are not going to go down too well in the history books. Its difficult to see when you are in it,  and everyone would much rather do something else, and keep the party going. What happens when the music stops? It will be uncomfortable and ugly.  Then, we can clear up the crap, and try again. Meanwhile, enjoy the tunes.

Reality check.

This week I have had a real sense of my body and my brain being super connected. MS usually keeps them very separate, which I much prefer. I have the JCV virus, and because I use Tysabri, it can activate PML, (progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy). 

The odds of getting through PML in on piece, are zero.Its like relaxing, chilling out in the middle of a long, dark tunnel. Perfectly safe, until the lights come up. The reason it is so dangerous is that the Tysabri suppresses MS attacks, whilst chucking my immune system under the bus. Bollocks. I do like walking though, so fuck it.

Week shedding.

This is the end of a weird week, full of fluey /hayfevery, trippy bollocks. I think there are about to fuck up FIFA again, and no one is surprised. And now a slow deliberate talking bloke, determined to monitor where our sewer line is, just knocked on my door.

"Can we go in your basement right now? Have you got half an hour?"

"Why?"

They hate that question.

I said that I didn't.

He liked that less. He said they had to go in, as they didn't want to puncture the sewer line whilst replacing the gas line. 

Which I asked for?

I know I'm not being fair, but there is nothing I like less than having someone knock on the door with something they have to do right now, having given me no warning. Just so you know, my answer will always be no.

And the FIFA vote is on. Seth Blatter ready to fix everything, with a side order of some new dawn rubbish. My answer for him is no as well. But the fix is in, so probably not. FIFA is a great example of how bullshit can be repeated into fact. 

Evening / morning.

I'm sitting listening to fantastic dub from On The hour on Radio Lancashire. If you get the chance, stream it, its fantastic.  otwradio.blogspot.com. I'm sitting sobering up, having got drunk around my neighbours house,  and then crashing a party down the road.  I managed to spill had a can of beer over a couch, and then have a nice sit down. They were a little loud, but lovely, and their party was very well behaved. We then twigged that everyone in the garden was 21 or so, and beat a drunken retreat back to our house. Top evening / morning.

Block Wonky.

Last night I found myself unexpectedly drunk. Beth, Fran and I had been to the block watch meeting. We joined the block watch a few months ago. The block watch is really useful, though if you read too much into whats going on, you would believe that we live in Beirut. We went from the meeting to the Red Brick. This pub has a strange power, it stops me from realizing just how much I am drinking, until we go outside to sit around the fire pit, where air is waiting to deliver the  bad news.
Oxygen  comes calling, wagging ia wispy finger.
"Dear oh dear, what have you been doing?" Hmm…
Actually, if you live in town, go there for the brisket ,which is great, and have a few gin and tonics, lovely. But, leave the Irish coffee exit (and the irish coffee is great), for a less trashed time, In fairness, I wasn't so trashed that I played the Keno. If you've never played it, the shortcut to Keno fun is to take 10 dollars from your pocket, and burn it.

Recycle

Today is recycling. I know this as I remembered as the trucks rolled down the road and rushed the garden stuff out the front, having put the recycle bin out the back. It's the first day since Friday I've been able to do anything. The weekend got washed, and Monday didn't do much better. But Tuesday?  Recovering and recycling. Super. I did watch some films while I couldn't move much. Reviews:

Guardians of the Galaxy - loads of fun.

The Station Agent - it was great to see this again. Fantastic film. Peter Dinklage was always brilliant.

I Spit on your grave (remake) - Don't..

Alien - it's as good as you remember.

The Babadook - Truly creepy horror film from Australia. Great film, don't watch it on your own  at night.

Concrete fracas

We have a great new fence. Our neighbour Paul did a fantastic job. It's changed how I feel about my garden. It is solid, as the posts are submerged in concrete. And then...I tried to pick up the 80 pound back of concrete we didn't use. This went badly. I did get it into the air, at which point my body pointed out what a terrible idea this was. I hit the ground, whilst the bag of concrete decided it would chill out next to me. I scrapped my arm up, and lay there reviewing my actions. I got an F.

When my infusion nurse saw what I'd done, she said,

"That's not the worst state he's turned up in."

Fair play. Great fence though.

Fridazed.

Today is quite a bit trippy. Its always like this the day after an infusion, Its the day when my blood merges with the drug that got dripped in yesterday, and things get a little odd for a while. Its the time when my body gets ready to fight for another month, like traveling up to the start of a roller coaster. Its the day I listen to the radio, read books, play guitar, and eat crisps, whilst waiting for the transitionary sleep/coma to arrive. Ah...

Infused.

My infusion is done,and my blood  drinks in this month's Tysabri. The drug glides into place, ready to see off the never ending MS attacks. They never seem to get bored with trying to cripple me. Once the drug and my blood start working together, they form a barrier, that the MS virus doesn't seem to be able to cross. This doesn't mean the damage that has already been done gets fixed, but it does stop all kinds of other awful from occurring.
The infusion itself? It was great. Nice comfy chair, line fed in by people who really know what they are doing,  lots of tunes to listen to, and a coffee for the hour after. You stay for an hour after the infusion, so that they can check you're not going to drop dead.. I've been infused in this room 36 times, and if I could, I'd go 36 more. Once I accepted that there was no way forward without a little dangerous help, things really picked up.

Sound ache.

The trucks on my road have been reversing and beeping for days. They were here to do something with the gas lines, whilst sending cameras down the sewer lines, because? I dunno, gas and poop patrol? The reversing truck beep is the chinese water torture of sound, along with that email beep off of your mobile.

As my infusion  appointments get closer, my capacity to deal with the sound of daily bullshit, ebbs away into nothing. My appointment is tomorrow. The trucks have left, good. The sirens have kicked off, bad.
 I have periods of time where I find daily noise  physically horrible. I usually whack on some music to cover it up. So, its not all bad, just make it a good tune.

Tracking.

I got up at 6am today, which I do everyday. My pooch has an internal clock, her stomach tells her when breakfast should be coming. sometimes the clock is a half hour early, it is very rarely late. Opened the kitchen door. Soupy humidity and heat. Fuck. That's today scrubbed right?
That is how MS rolls, the weather everyone else packs their picnic for, is the weather people with MS hate more than the cold. Crisp cold that is, damp cold is worse than humid heat. This is why I like American winters. sub zero as you like, but crisp as a brand new button
Its not that I don't want to go on your picnic, or have a wander around the park. Its that I'm calculating the cost benefit of doing ii. This is not a judgement on your sandwiches, i'm sure they are great. I love going on picnics, and I really like parks. Its the weather, its always the weather.
 Having said that, I'll go  any time I can. I wrote this as I watched a youtube thingy of someone with MS, who got treated badly by some ignorant cow. She was very upset, as she felt the waste of oxygen, mouth breathing tosser, was judging her on the invisible nightmare she was trying to deal with.
Anyone with MS deals with things they will not tell you about. All of us try to make it as invisible as we can. Presume that its a lot worse than you can imagine,  and you'll be on the right track.

Heat.

it is hot. Its going to get hotter. 88 F maybe 90 F today. Its really humid. This weather goes well with the election results in England. I sat down to watch the election yesterday, where we were told from the start, that the Conservatives were going to win, but that they were going to need to form a coalition, as they were not going to win outright. Hmm.

Not only did they win, everybody else, except the SNP, took a terrible beating. As the results rolled in, the fires under the other parties got hotter and hotter, to the point where the liberals are basically done,  and numerous party leaders threw themselves under the bus. I would suggest a nice iced tea, but i don't think it would help. Maybe get it from Long Island?

Stone review.

I found a full Children's TV series from England on YouTube, Children of The Stones. Its from 1977, and its really spooky. It reminds me how good children'sTV used to be, and how creepy the English countryside can seem. Its well worth a watch, though it'll put you off stone circles for quite a while...

Reviews.

I would recommend these five:

Life Itself, a fantastic documentary about Roger Ebert. I put it on just as I was about to go to sleep, and couldn't stop watching it.

Kurt Cobain Montage of Heck. Another amazing documentary, very trippy.

Books.

Ready Player One - Ernest Cline. This book is dark , but a ton of fun for anyone who grew up in the eighties.

Neil Gaiman Trigger Warning: Short Fictions and Disturbances. This is a great book with a lot of "Oh, really? Oh…," attached.

Hilary Mantel The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher.  This is a book of excellent short stories, and nothing as political as the title may have you believe.

Smoked.

We spent last weekend watching plumes of thick smoke blotting out the sky. Everyone in Columbus knows that this happened, as you could see it from everywhere. It was a recycling plant down the road, whose pallets went up in flames, and burned for three days. It was down wind from where we live,  so we spent the weekend watching clouds of smoke shroud the city. I trotted around the house as usual, looking out the window every now and again, to check on the apocalypse.
It was a weird weekend. The cloud stayed around all of Friday and Saturday, then began to fade Sunday.
And then, Monday arrived. Columbus shook the weekend off, and it was back to business as usual. Cities seem to have this capacity, to be able to absorb the awful, and to keep on keeping on. Nice work.