Sleep Doctor.

Today, the last couple of weeks catch up. I am really tired. I know I have to get myself in some sort of shape for Tuesday, when I fly home. I've got Into The Dalek streaming on BBC Iplayer. Capaldi is top notch, this series is going to be great! I think I'll let everybody else run around for a bit...

Dinner.

Somewhat trashed, coffee in hand to take the edge off. That was a fantastic evening! dinner with a lot of people i'd never met, all of them cool. Great food, booze and chat. The sort of evening i dream of. Props out to Dad and Helen, Top night!

Morning has...

Up. Coffee, banana, radio 4, and a drizzle outside, washing the day in. Since we got Abbey, I have turned into a morning person. Before, I would stay up all night, and start the day half way through, mid day, maybe. The first thing I noticed when I started to get up earlier is the people I'd never seen before, pootling about with a purpose, perfectly happy. What's all that about? I wondered. I know now that its the ability to start the day at your own pace, before the necessary butts in.
At home I find myself in the garden with Abbey, playing for a few hours, as the day wakes up, cars humming by, the sound of the city yawning itself awake. This morning, in the country, I stood outside in the spitting rain, watching the clouds trying their best to lighten everything up, as the birds stirred in the trees. Which sound do I prefer? The country or the coast is my preference, though there is a beauty to the determined push of a city morning.

Snapshot.

I took a nap/immediate coma stop this afternoon. I just woke up, quite peppy. I wonder whats been going on? Terror threat level raised, dum de dum, England dripping with Peodos, well they are though aren't  they? Russia acting up, cold war? its bloody freezing over there! Hang on, millions of historic pictures available for free download on Flickr? Oh, thats amazing, and a force for actual good. Everything else, as you were.

Not as easy as it looks.

Having tried the toaster myself this morning, I can see now how its easy to get it wrong. I figured 2 and a half minutes, thats alright, not too long, right? Wrong.
My toast did not arrive ablaze, but it was a little charred, leaving the toaster with a really? You didn't learn anything from last night? look. Fair point. This Dualit takes no prisoners, I think anything over a minute may be pushing it. I sat chastened, and quietly munched my barbecue toast.  Lesson learned.

Toast.

Having had a lovely dinner with Becky and Reid, I came home and went straight to bed.
I was woken from my reverie by the smell of burning. Did I set the house on fire by accident? Bugger. How am I going to explain this one? Came down stairs, following my nose to the scene of the crime, and found my dad binning the toast he'd just burnt. Whew! Now up super early, and awake, having had a coffee to chill the toast apocalypse out.

Odd.

When I tell people how long I've had MS, 22 years, they always look sideways at me.
"Really?"
 is the spluttered line I've heard a lot, from friends and medical professionals. To be honest, not really. Its been going on for more than 25 years, 22 is when I found out.
You are only supposed to take the Tysabri infusion for 2 years, before it gets too dangerous, and you have to find something else. My next infusion will make it 27 months. I have been diagnosed once with the JC virus, which should have been an automatic stop. But, the next two blood draws, came back negative.
Wha'….? Their eyes seem to say. My odds dropped a long way, 7000, but I'm still less than 1 in 3000 from doom. They are a little confused, and somewhat baffled. I'm quite happy to be odd.

Lifted

I'm listening a to a program on shoplifting the 18th century, based on the trial transcripts at the Old Bailey. Shops had just been opened, and shopping was the fashionable thing to do. The shop keepers were so worried about crime that they managed to get a law passed through parliament, making shoplifting a crime that could be punished by execution. I know this sounds ridiculous now, but no more than imprisoning someone for life in America, for stealing a pair of socks and earning their third strike.
 Of course there are people who do this for a living, but this law, like so many others, lands hardest on the shoulders of the poor. There may come a day when the world is balanced, and fair. Really? Not in our lifetime. Injustice does make for super songs though.

Loss.

I know I haven't dealt with my nan's death yet. I've been back, meeting people I hadn't seen for a long time, having a lot of fun, but I know i haven't accepted her loss properly. I can feel that it is coming, I just don't know when. it wasn't at her funeral, not even when I saw her in the casket at the funeral home. So when? No idea, but its going to be messy when it gets here.

Connected

We live in a connected world. Everyone wants to be connected, at all times. Isn’t that great? No, it is not. What it means, is that the voices of those who you used to duck and cover to avoid, are now everywhere, spraying their ignorant, misinformed crap all over the words you love. I have seen the words better and magnificent, reduced to meaning nothing at all, to doubt that blessed ever really meant anything, that friends could make anyone feel that lucky all the time, particularly if you don’t really know them.

We live in a time where access to shouting is way too easy. Wasn’t it always that way? It was, but we used to be able to ignore cry of the closed mind, without getting RSI deleting it.

In sight.

a few years ago, I used to read for the blind on their radio station. I really enjoyed it, and looked forward to going to the studio, to read out whatever I was given. You are given a soundproof room, a simple computer sound studio to run, and you just get on with it. Loved it.
I had to stop when my MS started to collapse, and my reading and thinking  got very difficult. I'm a lot better now, I think I'd like to go back and do that again. I've thought about reviewing films, once eyes open, and again eyes shut, to see how the people I used to work with, perceive the film. Or, read out Hello magazine, I was really good at that!

No, I don't want to stay friends.

Years ago, when I got dumped, I was then shouted at, as I had no interest in remaining friends. The last thing I said to this person was,
"What are you getting so rampy about? You dumped me, go away."

Or

"No fuck? No blowjob? Fuck off!"

Female version:

"No orgasm, ever. Go away and get some skills. And for god's sake, get a manicure! Now fuck off!"

Any bloke confused by the manicure line? Its the reason you keep finding yourself alone.
To be clear, she didn't limp away, because you are the king of cock.

Ribbit!

I was just getting ready to write this blog, about a great evening with Sam and Dad, plowing our way through most of a local chinese takeaway, when I saw movement on the kitchen floor, out of the corner of my eye. I presumed it was a country mouse. i looked, and saw it wasn't moving fast enough. It was a frog, stranded and somewhat confused. What to do?
I thought, frogs don't bite,right? I looked for some paper towel to help carry him out. This frog was pretty big. Hmm….. A plastic bin sat empty across the kitchen. My walking stick was close by. Solution! I got him into the bin, where he attempted to jump out, and released him outside. Can I have my countryside warrior badge now?

They call it soggy Monday….

Coffee in, rain out and about. Its a drizzle that sticks around, the guest at the party, that doesn't do that much damage, but eats too much of the food, tells tales of themselves that were not interesting the first time, and will not leave. The sun is currently acting as your best mate, who promised to stick about and help, and then knacked off to the interesting party down the road.

Sunday.

Spent the day/ evening down at Studhambury with Cath, Joe and Sean. Hoot start to finish, the bands were all good, the company was fantastic. Back at my dad's house, he's still out running the tracks. White chocolate Toblerone I think...

Match Report

Beth and I flew into England last saturday. We had a great veining in Studham with my dad and then joined my mum at the Old Palace Lodge in Dunstable, ahead of my nan's funeral on Monday. The funeral, at a small chapel at a graveyard in Dunstablewas lovely, exactly what my nan would have wanted. Kev, Cat and I gave readings. My brother and sister are fantastic public speakers, I think nan would have loved it.
The wake, at a room in The Old Palace Lodge was excellent. The spread they put on would have tickled my nan, who could make a full buffet for 50 using only a carrot, a lump of cheese, and half a loaf of bread. How she made the trifle? A mystery which will never be solved.
The wake was full of relatives I haven't seen for years. It took less than five seconds for everyone to settle in. On a terrible day, it was the best thing that could have happened
Dad picked us up on Tuesday. we went to sainsburys, emptied the chocolate and crisp aisles, and got some really nice flowers to put on nan and granddad's grave. Lunch in a cafe at the top of dunstable downs, which are stunning. back to Studham, great evening.

Wednesday. Dad gave us a lift to Broadstairs, where Mum now lives. Its a gorgeous seaside town. Spent the afternoon playing with my niece Aria and my nephew Harry.Phoned Brody, who lives down there. Out for an evening of fish and chips, beer and fireworks, with a late night tour of Ramsgate and Broadstairs with Brody's wife Carolyn at the wheel and his son Harry in the back with Beth and Steve. Amazing.
Thursday. Dad picked us up as Beth was flying back to America on Friday. Another top night.
Friday. Beth left early, and the reality of what I'd been doing for the last few days began to settle in. That was a lot of drinking. what to do? Luckily Friday we went to a great restaurant for Helen's sister Joanne's birthday. drinking did not stop, but was held a little in check. Beth, having been delayed in Philly, finally got home.
Yesterday. Hugh came down. We went to the pub, scoffed someone's birthday buffet, still don't know who, came back, ate ribs and cheese, and drank amazing wine for hours. That was a lot of fun!
Today. Studhambury music festival. Sean, Catherine and my godson Joseph are coming down. Tomorrow a really good friend of mine Sam, is coming down in the afternoon. I may make home in one piece yet. May.

Don't Panic.

Awake. coffee in, Beth and abbey at the vets. Flight this evening, so I'll get packed then, once I've got my suitcase out of the garage. This morning I was thinking, I'll lived out on the edge of the awful, over half my life. I've had long periods were I've not dealt with it very well, I'm really only really beginning to deal with it, 22 years in. So, my advice is, no matter how terrible things are looking,  and how low it makes you feel? Don't panic. The terrible has a way of showing you the great, usually where you were least expecting it.

Shave.

I fly to England tomorrow evening. I'm not flying alone, Beth picked up a ticket yesterday. I'm really glad she's coming, having said I was going to be ok about my nan's funeral, it turns out I've been quietly in pieces about it for weeks.
Are we packed? No. Have I had the haircut I insisted I have to have before I leave? No. Have I had the shave that I need, in order to go for the haircut? No. Hmm. You've got an ticket, right? I did get it really late, and change it on the day I was supposed to fly, but I do have a ticket. Do you have an international plug thingy, so you can use your computer? Ah…maybe.
Everything is running as close as it can, without failing. Business as usual.

Late night musing.

its not really that late, 11:40. I'd been asleep having come back from infusion, enjoyed a chipolte, with the really hot sauce, and then passed out on the couch for a few hours. Its always like this after an infusion, my body has to reset, and absorb this months fight. I chatted to my infusion nurses about how my odds of the awful were going up. We all agreed, I'm not at the coin flip stage quite yet.
Iwas sitting next to someone new this time, a really cool bloke, there with his daughter, who was helping him out. He's in a wheelchair, and we spent the hours chatting about this and that, both landing on the drugs we actually like taking. Tysabri is incredibly useful, if a lot dangerous.  Dope? Easy now. A discussion on how to avoid overdoing pot brownies, and the tragedy of the never ending munchies, ensued. Total hoot, really nice guy. We asked each other when each others next infusion was. Hope to see him again.
Chatting to people who are in the same trouble I am, negates all bullshit, and opens the conversation up in ways you would not believe. Yoga for MS is the same. I've had to miss the last month or so, running pillar to post, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it in September.
I've always loved talking to people, the irony is, that now that my physical access for going out as much as I'd like is fading, the conversations I'm having, are getting better and better.
Props out to The Breeders, great late night writing soundtrack.

Drop-tastic.

I've been sleeping in for the last few days, by which I mean I've slept until 6:30am, sometimes even 7am! Not today. Abbey, pleased as punch to see me last night, has decided that breakfast should be served around 4:30am this morning. She's wrong about that.  Kitchen floor sighing and huffing,  will not bring 6am around any quicker. She's now randomly wandering around downstairs, tired and little confused.  Welcome to my world.
Today is infusion day. Not a moment too soon. Yesterday proved foot drop-tastic, as all my energy flushed itself away. 3 MS stuntman maneuvers followed, including a near fall, where two great lemon cake slices where thrown into the air, never to be seen again.
Odds of certain death? -1 in 3300. Bring it on, my feet could do with the help.

Cool weekend.

This weekend is turning out great! Beth and I got to the hotel just after midnight Saturday morning. Surprised them, hey we're expecting us Friday.  Nice sleep, then we got up Saturday, and explored St Joseph's, which I really liked. Starting calculating the house prices, swiftly moved on. Saturday night, pre wedding meet and greet on the deck at the top of th hotel, brilliant. Then, off to a restaurant, fantastic food, and then, back to the hotel bar. Behaved remarkably well.
Today, up, really nice crepes for brunch,.I then did the unheard of, and took a walk on my own to see the yacht that came in earlier. They raised the bridge, I hadn't seen that in years. Trotted back, room done, chilling out before getting ready for the bus to the wedding. 315? Sure,I'll be ready for that.

Slow movem e n t.

Fell asleep at the dining table again last night, no stunt work involved. Today, we are off to Michigan for the weekend to Beth's cousin's wedding. Should be a hoot! Am I ready for the trip? Sort of. The idea of being there is very appealing,  but the message hasn't reached my legs yet, which are happy to crash the day out.
I did see the original Rollerball this morning, James Caan skating around a burning, bloody track, whilst the crowd chants "Jonathon! Jonathon!" Strangely inspirational, time for me to get my arse in gear.

Sleep fall.

I must of passed out sitting at my dining table. I know this, as I just woke up falling from a chair, which ended up on its side, 1/2 a second before I hit the floor. I don't think I broke anything, though I can feel a nicely bruised side developing, like a badly taken Polaroid. It's not the first time I've woken up where I shouldn't be, the worst was hovering at the top of my stairs, just about to fall down them. Adventure sleeping. Bugger.

Risk Management.

The drug I infuse every month was safe, the odds of the awful 1/10,000 , unless I picked up the JC Virus, which I've now got. My odds are still good -1/3,300. Quite a fall in the odds, but still doable. I know what the downside can be somewhat fatal, and I'm still into it. I never thought that I'd end up thinking this way. But, what's the choice? Wheelchair / bedridden or walking, with the outside chance of an immediate end. I'll take the stroll.

Easy Now….

Great evening, eating with Beth and Stewart down at Easy Street. I picked the New Orleans Linguine, always really good there, and the Whisky Punch, having asked for a drink that could do the job quickly.
The booth behind me contained the modern lovers. I watched their evening develop in Stewart's eyes. The growing shock, playing out across his face, told me the tale of the love booth. He was posh South African, she was in his line of fire. As the event headed further south,  they briefly came to their senses, and left.
"The dinner is over, the eating has just begun."
Ooh……
Dinner, drinks, great conversation, and porno cabaret. Top night.

Journey.

Our journey from illinois to Ohio took a long time yesterday. After a few stops and starts, we found ourselves in a massive traffic jam, going nowhere fast, crawling through Indiana. We were trapped between 18 wheelers for about an hour. I did not have a CB, and Smokey was not involved.
There were warnings for roadworks, so we thought there must be a lot of work up ahead. We inched forward. We were  in the American version Godard's Le Weekend. Bugger. Forward again.
Eventually we came upon flashing police lights. To the right, a long way off the road, in the brush, was a truck on its roof. Not road works, a massive accident. There was no ambulance, so hopefully the driver got out ok.
On we went, past Mechanicsburg. There is a Teutopolis in Illinois, I know who I'd pick in a robot fight.  The plucky mini robots of Mechanisburg? Or the behemoth from the stars that is Lord Teutopolis! I think illinois shades it,...

Colossus Penguin.

I woke up this morning, pooch fed, coffee in, and then read this in The Telegraph:
Fossils have just been unearthed in Antarctica, showing a race of giant penguins that used to roam the continent 40 million years ago. How big? Over 2 metres tall from beak tip to toes, and they weighed around 18st 2lb.
"Would you like some fish? Whale, perhaps?"
This is why I like reading The Telegraph. I know its a tad right wing, and can sometimes come across like a grumbling old man, staring into his now cold coffee, bemoaning the state of the world, whilst looking for which cake to pick next.
"Eccles if possible, none of this foreign rubbish!"
 But, the articles are always well written, and likely to make my early morning coffee really interesting. Giant penguins?!! Get them in a zoo, if you can. I don't know how the creationists are going to try and spin this one, I'm fairly sure they would have made the Ark list heavily, and sink a little, if they were around.
The world has an awful lot to give up, as long as we don't burn it first.

Roll Out

Back to Columbus today. Off to Michigan for a wedding Friday. Back to Columbus Monday. Infusion Tuesday. Leave for England Friday night. Whew! I got a suit on the back of that, felt like the right thing to do. Shirt? Tie? Sure, they must be here somewhere.
 Do I have the shoes? Yeah. I have to dig my Churches out of the closet. When Williams and I shared a flat, we found somewhere you could get Churches, which I think are the best shoes you can buy, really cheap. Shoes, then food. If anyone broke into the flat? Steal the shoes first.
The next two weeks are way more packed than I thought.  It lets up Saturday week, when I land. Wish me luck.

Bad News.

The news is  constantly on the search for the awful, even when its not really there. The parties hate each other, and bury great ideas from either side under a barrage of bullshit. Its not news that no one likes each other, or that the world is turning to shit. Report the truth of what you see, don't steroid the abysmal up, we get it. And no, you can't come to my party, I could do without a scare report on the dip.

Friday fish CLUB!

Last night, we went out to the pub for some fish and chips. Of course that means fish and crisps over here. Heresy! I had to order fish and fries, which came with cottage cheese as the side. What?! Actually, cottage cheese works really well. The mustard I saw someone putting onto their fish? That'll haunt my dreams for a while. And? The fish was great. Malt vinegar, not the balsamic I was offered earlier in the week, very nice.

We had come in just as food service was closing, 9pm. Finished up, 10pm strikes. 

BOOM! BOOM! Everybody in the place!

From nice bar to full on club in seconds. Hilarious!

Good food and cabaret, can't be beat.

Cars.

Up. Coffee, fed dog, and  a slick looking white Infiniti convertible in the garage. Cars don't really turn my head, but this one, is fucking cool! Its the one where the roof folds down into the trunk. This is one of the perks of being in the Miglin family. You never know what cars are going to turn up. Beth asked if I wanted to see the Model T. You've got a Model T? Breakfast.