The piss head and the pea.

   

Woke up this morning with a bad back. Felt like a good first line for a blues, is however a terrible start for any blues song, unless sung by a geriatric bluesman to opening his piss in the pants tour of old folks homes. The telly was on, spouting something confusing. Took five minutes to realise that I had turned the TV onto a spanish language  channel in my sleep. Dream osmosis ineffective, my spanish is still dire.
I slept on the remote, the pissheads version of the princess and the pea tale. Maybe thats how one pisshead finds another, keep asking them to sleep over on the coach, whilst cunningly sliding the remote under the cushions. Three back grumbling days later you have found the love of your life, and somone wo can say "good morning!!!!" in spanish.
 I have woken up before unaware of where I was, looking around, searching for clues to my location. This usually happens when I have been travelling, and have fallen hard asleep. The moments of where am I and why are actually somewhat of a treat.
Been out for breakfast at the Skillet around thecorner. So sleepy i forgot Betns order, which she had told me seconds before, then stepped back and accientally elbowed the woman behind me in the tit. What is the etiquette for that? anyway, boob smashing aside great breakfast, though Apple and farmer cheese pancakes do give you countryside farts. Countryside in that it would be better to be in plenty of open air when you do one.
Then shopping, where the countryside fart was retained in the checkout queue. Learned that the reason the conveyor belt stops is that your food or the plastic thing between you and the customer behind you breaks the laser beam shining across the belt. thanks bloke behind me, breakfast and Buck Rogers, result. sorry the only thing I gave you was the air of the countryside as I left