Tick Tock

MS dictates that I live in a hyper reality. I never know day by day what my situation will be. I know for a fact its going to be tricky in a way no one else can see. I spent years covering up the problems I had. I've come to the conclusion 22 years in that this is a waste of effort. I rarely if ever asked for help. If I did so it was almost churlish, the help was needed but not particularly wanted. It was appreciated but wrapped in the annoyance of having to have it at all. 22 years of that.
I've changed my mind. Having run MS with no help from drugs, I threw the drugs my Dad generously bought back from the States in the bin 20 years ago, I now happily trot along to the infusion suite once every 28 days to get a dangerous but effective helpmate plugged into my blood. When Beth and I go to gigs we go to the disabled section, great seats, sit back and chill out. I ask for wheelchair assistance at airports, get driven through crowds and get to my gate soon time.
 I dumped performing outdoors because its too risky and costs 2 to 3 months to recover. My price for doing it is now so high, I've priced myself out of the market. I did that deliberately.
Film? different. Indoor work, tricky but do-able. Voice over? Yeah. Writing? Definitely. Though I got wiped out for a month or so and am currently running/limping in the 11th hour once again.
This has meant I've had to ditch travel plans for now as I fix what can be fixed and reset for another go.
Sounds awful, after 22 years my conclusion? It is what it is. MS sets the clock, you never know how its going to go and live adjusting all the time. You will hear options you can't quite believe, accept them and take no shit off of anybody, ever. Its an interesting way to have to live. I wouldn't recommend it, but it is do-able.