You cannot legally buy fireworks in Ohio or Illinois. You can in indiana. On the border between Ohio and Indiana, and Indiana and Illinois, stand two huge firework warehouses, Shelton Fireworks, stuffed to the brim with highly explosive fun. You buy your fireworks there, and hope you don't get pulled by the police as you drive into the state of your choice.
Beth and I decided we'd pick some up yesterday, to take ut to Leslie's farm for some 4th of july fun. I honestly thought it would be a couple of oohs and aahs, nothing heavy. The clue should have been the biker gangs loading up from the warehouse. Second clue, they come in large boxes. You set light to the whole box, and clear. If you've done it, you know what comes next, bright light apocalypse. Unbelievable, its a full blown professional show in a box. We bought 5 of them. Ian walked around with the kids lighting these things. We sat in chairs oohing and aahing and laughing.
Then one of them fell sideways.
It paused briefly, set, and came straight at us. Screaming adults, moved faster than they expected, hiding behind the cars. Mindy's voice went up, "Where are the kids???!!! Kid's had sensibly cleared from the path. We all laughed really hard, and went on setting the more powerful fireworks, ending on one called the Finale. Good god. wow.
Then the kid's lit up and ton of sparklers, and did a Pagan war dance. The difference between England and America? English mums would say, "Be careful, they are very hot!" American's "Spin! Spin! While singing the theme from Dambusters."
I haven't laughed so hard, or been so briefly terrified, ever. Proper USA display, finishing with the immortal line:
"Well, nobody's dead. Cool show!"
I love the midwest.
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