Friday.

MS is always easier to deal with mentally when its at its most frightening. When my walking collapses, when all energy is gone, with no sign that that it will ever recover, things are awful, but clear. Of course I can't do anything, everything is in free fall. At the moment i'm in the most difficult bit, where my health has kind of recovered, but some things did not, and I have to change everything again.

Last night I decided to see what was left, and walked from my house to an improv session about half a mile away. I got there and did the session for two hours. It was the first performing I think I've done this year. It was a lot of fun, I've always loved doing improv, though I know that its doubtful I would go on stage to do it again. Theres the issue, doubtful. Thats the mental bit. l know how to perform. I don't have the health to do it as I want to, and its a waste of time worrying about it.

That walk from my house to the session is the furthest I've been able to walk for years. Thats good right? And we joined a gym. Proper grubby armpit. All the machines, not too nice. I don't need to be told how amazing everything is. I don't care how gluten free your cafeteria is.  Do the machines work? That'll be fine. Its 24 hour? Perfect.